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... Well. FML, I overslept and missed my Chem exam. Strange thing is, I have a feeling that I just don't give a damn...
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Beg to take the exam ASAP. Or some equivalent.
If that doesn't work, just drop the class. And get a new alarm clock, too.
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I think there's some sort of Apathy Syndrome among students lately. I mean I know I'm lazy, but when I miss big things and I just don't give a fuck, something's wrong.
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I would tell the teacher you were sick and ask for a makeup exam during their office hours, if possible. Or drop the class - it should be early enough in the semester for that.