Mister Jack

Mmm...monke.

More and more I feel justified in just going with a prebuilt.

HEARD SOMEONE TALKIN' SHIT IN HERE.

Blasphemous II As I suspected, this sequel solves just about every issue I had with the first game. The Soulslike mechanics are still there, but this game leans more into the Metroidvania side of the formula than the Souls side, which I think is for the best with this genre. The Penitent One is now more agile, the controls are better, movement upgrades are pickup items rather than hidden behind cryptic soulslike quests, and oh yeah... SPIKES AREN'T INSTANT DEATH ANYMORE. Thank GOD for that. In fact, spikes in general have much less of a presence here than they did before. They're still around and they still hurt like hell, but if you fall in them you'll be teleported back to the platform as long as you have life enough to spare. The combat is also much improved with three weapons instead of one, and now you have two swappable magic abilities instead of one. You also don't have to go back to a specific location to buy upgrades. The weapons all have their niche too and I got plenty of use out of all three of them depending on what I was fighting, though my favorite would have to be the heavy flail since it swings in such a huge arc. If there's anything to complain about, it's that certain bosses in the game are such a ridiculous difficulty spike that I was tempted to quit a couple times. I pushed through it, but I at least thought about it. It only happened with two of the bosses, but those two were so much harder than every other boss in the game that it felt like going from Elden Ring to Sekiro out of nowhere. It was painful. Really great sequel otherwise, though. I'm glad to see the developers took player feedback into consideration when making it.

Blasphemous The first one. I beat it once before after it launched, but later on they added DLC that included a true ending, so I figured before I play 2 I should go back and get that. Ho-ly fuck is it cryptic. If you don't use a guide like I did I don't know how you'd ever be expected to figure it out on your own. In fact, even with a guide I ended up having to play the game twice because I accidentally fought a boss too early and locked myself out of the true ending. Yeah, I was pissed. It's still a good game but while playing it I was reminded of some very aggravating things about it, such as the instant death spikes, flask upgrades decreasing how many you can carry, and needing to spend 20,000 tears at the donation box in order to be able to teleport between shrines. Does it ruin the game? No, I wouldn't say so, but it did make it less fun. I'm done now, though, so I can finally play Blasphemous II and see what the devs learned from the first game. I'm excited.

Also these huge spending sprees you guys have been going on got me feeling like

Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree Took me a while to find time to finish this one. I don't have much to say that hasn't already been said. It's fantastic DLC. My only real gripes are that some enemies seem to have infinite poise and some bosses are designed in such a way that if you don't like using summons, you're gonna have a bad time. Is it possible to win solo? Sure, but you are given very little room for error.

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Switch version, obviously. I never actually played the original Gamecube version, so I'm actually kind of glad that I got to go into this remake completely fresh. Since I have nothing to compare it to I don't know how exactly they improved the quality of life for this version, but I know they did add new features meant to reduce some of the tedium of the original, or so I have read. Putting that aside and just judging this game on its own merits, I can see why people are so fond of this one. The turn-based combat with no stupid gimmicks like later on in the series is just so much better. I suppose you could maybe consider the audience during battles a gimmick, but it's a very unobtrusive one that doesn't demand the whole battle system be reworked around it. I like the characters, I like the story, I like the music and the graphics and the exploration. This one really should have been remade a long time ago but better late than never. I do think that some of the chapters drag on for too long, particularly near the end, but that doesn't bring it down much for me. I'm just happy that I got to finally experience this game everyone loves so much.

Oh yeah, it's gonna be a good week. That last one just dropped out of nowhere today but the trailer impressed me so much I hit the buy button pretty much immediately.

Moss Book II PC is in the shop so I'm catching up on my VR backlog. This is the conclusion (maybe?) to the story started in Book I. The first Moss was a pretty good VR game and this one improves on it in pretty much every way. Quill is as adorable as ever and now she has more weapons to make combat a little bit less brainless, although it's still not very complex. The boss fights are pretty good though. Quill also gets new traversal abilities and you, as her guide, get new abilities to alter the environment to help her solve puzzles or get past obstacles. Quill herself is as adorable as ever and she charmed the heck out of me with her little victory dances after beating a boss, bringing me in for high fives both up high and down low. This team really did a good job making a protagonist you can get invested in and attached to. I don't know if there will ever be a Moss Book III (the ending is a bit ambiguous on that) but I wouldn't mind going on one more adventure with my little mouse buddy.

This one's easier than Sekiro. There is an accessory you can equip that makes the timing more generous

Bigger enemies and bosses have balance bars. If you parry them enough times they get stunned and you can do a powerful stab attack. Parrying also fills up the bar you use for special moves. You can choose to dodge most attacks instead, but some attacks can't be dodged, only parried.

Stellar Blade There is no way to not compare this game to Nier: Automata. They have similar storylines, similar main characters, similar post-apocalyptic worlds, and even the music has a similar feel to it. Nothing is to the point of plagiarism, but you'd have to be stupid not to notice if you ever played Nier. I would say that Nier definitely has the better story, but Stellar Blade has better combat. It's half Bayonetta and half Sekiro, where you have flashy skills and combos to play with but you also need to master timed parries and dodges in order to open up opportunities for powerful counterattacks. You can't get by simply mashing the attack button like you usually could in Nier. Not a bad game. Didn't blow my mind or anything but I'd give it a solid B.