Mister Jack

I got Jedi Fallen Order from Redbox. Remember game rentals? Anyway I'll give my full thoughts when I finish it but so far it's definitely the best Star Wars game since EA got their grubby hands on the license.

God damn it, I got some avocados in the mail recently as a gift and I am trying so hard to figure out when they're ripe so I can make guacamole but so far every single one I've tried has just not worked out. I tried cutting one open a few minutes ago because it was dark brown on the outside but the inside was hard as a fucking rock. My spoon couldn't even penetrate it to scoop it out and I ended up just throwing the whole thing away in disgust. They say you're supposed to squeeze it but I have never squeezed an actual ripe avocado so I have no frame of reference. I've wasted four of these damn things so far and it's so frustrating.

Oh, did the steam version come out? I've always wanted to try it but I just can't with those ASCII graphics.

Fuck Konami, man.

Death Stranding This is one of those games that's going to be divisive for years to come. It is very much a Kojima game and if you didn't like Metal Gear Solid this is most certainly not going to change your mind. I think people will either love it or hate it with not much room in between. I personally loved it, though that doesn't mean I was never frustrated with it, but more on that later. People looked at this game and thought "What do you DO? It's not just delivering cargo the whole time is it?" I can say that yes, with a few story-related exceptions, for the most part the whole game revolves around making deliveries. However, this isn't completely aimless like No Man's Sky. There is a fascinating world and storyline tied to the deliveries you're making, and I can honestly say I have never seen a post-apocalypse premise quite like this one. Each delivery you make for the main mission reveals a little bit more about this world and all those confusing and enigmatic elements from the trailers are gradually peeled back until it actually starts to make a weird kind of sense. I "get" this universe now after finishing the game, and that's oddly satisfying. Of course, if all you care about is the gameplay then whether or not you enjoy it is going to depend on your patience. The main gameplay loop is taking cargo from Point A to Point B. However, you often have a lot to contend with. Your cargo and all your supplies take up visible space on Sam's body, and if you weigh him down too much in one area it's going to affect his movement so you want to try to distribute the weight of what you carry evenly between his back, his shoulders, and his hip straps. There is an auto-optimize button to streamline this, but sometimes even then you will still want to manually rearrange certain items. Once you've got your cargo all sorted out you still have to worry about rough terrain, raider camps, bad weather, and invisible monsters called BTs that can seriously ruin your day and your cargo if they catch you. You have a shoulder mounted device that can help point out where and how far away the nearest BT is, but even with that you're going to run smack into one if you act recklessly. It does not pay to be rash in this game, because losing your balance or taking a hit will usually result in a piece of cargo flying off of you. While you can usually recover it, you will often be in situations where it's better to just run for your life and give up whatever you dropped as lost. The neatest thing about this game is the online features. Kojima boasted that he was making a new genre of game. I don't know if I'd go that far, but I will say what he did with the asynchronous multiplayer is really neat. You know how in Dark Souls people can leave behind messages to help or warn other players? Picture that, only people can also leave behind actual structures and tools for people to use. I was frequently relieved to find that some kind soul had built a bridge or left a ladder behind in a place where it really helped me out, and I know for a fact my structures helped out others because the game is quite enthusiastic about letting you know when someone uses your stuff. You can reward these helpful players by giving them likes with the touchpad. Unlike real life, likes actually do something here by helping you level up faster and also making it easier for you to discover other players' structures. If a structure requires certain items to build or upgrade, multiple players can also chip in materials to help it along. If a player ends up losing a piece of cargo, it gets left behind for other players to pick up. If it's a supply item then you can use it yourself, but if it's a delivery item you can finish the delivery yourself or stash it in a locker for someone else to grab. Either way, multiple hands helping a delivery reach its destination means more likes for everybody who contributed to the effort. Oh yeah, and players can also donate unneeded items to shared lockers that other players can access, which gives you extra likes for your generosity. While it is possible to play this game offline in the sense that it won't lock you out if you're not connected, trust me when I say that you don't want to do that. This game is very much meant to be played with everyone working together and helping each other out. A lot of people say they couldn't get through this game and I kind of understand it. It doesn't really open up until chapter 3. Until then you're pretty helpless. You have no vehicles, no real self-defense options, and no better way to do all your deliveries than just hoofing it the entire way. You eventually get all these things, but the beginning of the game is just a lot of walking and climbing without much else going on to keep it interesting. Even after you get all these things, if delivering cargo over treacherous terrain and through hostile territory doesn't sound like something you can have fun with then Death Standing probably isn't for you. It's a very well-made game and technically astounding, but they definitely didn't go into this trying to make a big, crowd-pleasing game that would appeal to everyone. You have to be able to appreciate a slow burn to get much out of this. Oh, and the actors give some fantastic performances too. I usually hate when people add big name celebrities as voice actors or mocap actors just to cash in on their name and then the performances they give are underwhelming because they either didn't take it seriously or because video game roles are simply outside of their skill set, but these people really gave it their all. If you're going to insist on having big name actors for your video game, this is how you do it.

Well the game has been datamined and it looks like most of the returning Pokemon are using the exact same models as they used in the last 3DS game. People found this out by comparing wireframe data. No wonder the game looks so terrible from a graphical standpoint. I was honestly hoping that the first proper console game in the series would be a revolutionary upgrade that gets me back into the franchise since I haven't finished a Pokemon game since the Game Boy days, but this kind of laziness is a pretty clear indication of where the series is headed so unless something changes drastically I think I'm out for good.

Wow, they actually listened to the criticism and gave people what they wanted. I'm impressed, Paramount. Good work.

You mean when they change the names of things based on copyrighted musical references?

I haven't been able to play more than 3-4 hours so far. I can kinda see why some people wouldn't like it, especially if they're expecting something like Metal Gear. This is a game that's got a very slow and deliberate pace so far and impatient types will want to just hurry up and get to the next mission. I'm enjoying it, though. I don't mind stopping to smell the flowers.

Time to experience the thrilling life of a post-apocalyptic Amazon delivery boy.

I didn't even think to ask, are you watching it in English or Japanese? Both shows are fine and I'm usually not a dub vs sub purist but this is one of those cases where it is SO much more enjoyable in Japanese just because of all the hilarious Engrish.

You haven't watched Part 5 yet? Shit, man, it finished a while back. You don't even have to wait for new episodes anymore. At least watch the torture dance!

Well son of a bitch. As it turns out some of my music is so old it's from the days of back when Apple was using DRM and I, like a fool, believed in paying for music so these songs won't play on anything but an Apple device. Even VLC doesn't work. I called them up and asked them how to get versions of my older songs that aren't fucked with DRM and they said the only way to update them was to subscribe to a service for 25 dollars a year. Uh, no. Fuck that. I have other ways. I may never pay for music again after this debacle. I'm being punished now because I didn't pirate back in 2007 like everyone else.

Well I'm trying to add over 3000 songs sooo

So iTunes is a piece of shit and it fucked up the artwork and song order on my ENTIRE music collection so now I'm sick of it and want to try transferring all my iPod music onto my phone, despite my apprehension about battery use. Those of you who listen to music on your android devices, what's the best music player app you've used?

Things (1989) I enjoy watching bad movies like a lot of people just to laugh at their cheesiness but there is a limit to how much shit I can tolerate and this movie was so dreadful that I actually felt angry when it was done. The plot? Christ, I can't even be sure. It's almost impossible to follow because it's so badly shot and edited and the writing is all over the place. It has something to do with an experiment that results in a bunch of laughably bad monsters that terrorize a bunch of completely wooden, unlikable characters. No, you know what? Wooden is too good. Wood is a material that actually has substance to it. These characters are more like styrofoam and the acting is of a similar caliber. And why the hell does it keep cutting to scenes of a news reporter at the most awkward and unfitting moments? Seriously, this happens multiple times! Oh, and it's REALLY obvious that the dialogue was redubbed after the filming was done because the lip-syncing is atrocious. Can't forget how the whole thing looks like it was shot on somebody's personal VHS camcorder too, complete with bad lighting, terrible angles, and shots that are way too zoomed in. But you know what? I could have overlooked all of this if only the movie wasn't so god damn boring. About the only nice thing I can think to say about it is that is has a decent soundtrack. Mind you, it's hardly amazing, but it's okay. This is a movie made by completely untalented hacks, but not the fun kind like Ed Wood. It's the Big Rigs of cinema. I'm pretty sure it's a Canadian film too so fuck you, Canada.

James Gunn has cast Pom Klementieff (Mantis) as Kaleidoscope for Suicide Squad 2. I really like how he's filling out the roster with the loser D-list villains. It sounds a lot more fun to me than what they did with the first movie, and knowing Gunn's style he probably won't be afraid to make plenty of jokes about how pathetic they are.

Okay, I'll try that the next time I talk to her.

You're preaching to the choir, man. Imagine how frustrating it is for me, someone who has known her for over 30 years now.

Believe me, that's the first thing I told her, but she "doesn't want him to go to prison."

Been a while since I've posted in here and it's kind of a weird coincidence I do it on the same day someone else revives this thread, but screw it. My mother is legally blind and can't handle her own bills or finances, so a few times a month I'll check her bank account and credit cards online to handle that stuff for her. She trusts me to handle that kind of sensitive info. Anyway, the last time I checked her credit card she had 5.,000 dollars of charges on it. This was unusually high for her so I started looking over the transactions. Lo and behold, I find charges in the hundreds of dollars to clothing and shoe stores. One of them was almost 600 dollars. My mother likes to buy clothes and shoes every now and then but she never spends that much. Even if she did, these were stores that heavily cater to African-Americans, which she is most decidedly not. I call her up to get to the bottom of things. Recently she's been paying this local handyman named Steve to work on her yard and her house. Windows, gutters, things like that. As it turns out, she has given this guy her credit card on a few occasions (what the fuck, mom?) because he has to go to hardware stores to buy the things she wants for her yard. Plants, mulch, decorative stones. Things of that nature, and apparently this MOTHER FUCKER has been going on little shopping sprees on the side while he had her card. I tallied up everything that she didn't recognize and it came up to almost THREE THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS. Something about my mother that you need to understand is that she is way, way too trusting and forgiving and people take advantage of her over this a LOT because she is also well off. I wouldn't call her rich, but she lives comfortably. Against my wishes she has paid for rent, medication, car repairs, and court fees for people whose lives are a fucking mess and who are always coming to her begging for handouts. She has spent thousands upon thousands of dollars getting people out of messes they made for themselves and no matter how many times I tell her it's a bad idea she keeps doing it. In fact, she also paid over a thousand dollars a while back to help fix Steve's truck so he could keep working. Regardless of how foolhardy this may seem to you, that's just the kind of person she is. I don't think it's smart, but it's still incredibly generous and you would think that if you were ever bailed out by this woman you would feel a debt of gratitude to her. WELL HE DIDN'T BECAUSE HE STOLE THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS! After I tallied up everything he fraudulently spent with her card she agreed to confront him about it. If he doesn't pay back what he stole then it'll be time to sue. I don't care what it takes. This guy is gonna get nailed to the fucking cross.

I think it's safe to say there's no way EA would be doing this if their last Star Wars game had done as well on Origin as they were hoping.

God damn is there some shiny trophy at the end of the race to the bottom this year that I don't know about? Between Bethesda, Activision-Blizzard, EA, GameFreak, 2K, and Ubisoft, everyone is shitting in the bed harder than an AVGN video.