DocSeuss

Hey, guys: Amazon's got a great sale going on right now. Black Ops for $20, Syndicate for $15, Battlefield 3 at $36, Modern Warfare 2 at $10, Civilization V at $25, Darkness 2 at $12.49... yeah. You might want to get in on this. Most game codes register either on Steam or Origin. I wish I could justify Battlefield 3, but I've already bought three cheaper games, so I'm spent until the paycheck on the 13th. Also, Spec-Ops: The Line. Played the demo last night. The writing is fantastic. Definitely worth the $25.

I think the thing that everyone's ignoring is Fortaleza. They're working on creating a fucking holodeck. Does no one see this?

I would highly recommend that any new games you buy, you buy at GreenManGaming.com. Darksiders 2? At one point, $35. Lots of games, actually, launch at $35 there. I would say that Portal 2 is different in that the puzzles are inferior (several of them basically just have you hunting for the one surface you can put a portal on, while Portal's puzzles involve a lot more flinging, which is how I like to play) and the script negates the ending of Portal by making GLaDOS sympathetic. On its own, it's not particularly bad--really solid 8/10 game, but Portal is nigh-on perfect.

The phonetic similarity to ex-taku is amusing. I vote we add a U. If we do that, we sound like we're talking in Engrish. LETS DO IT

It was on the last page... >_>

The phonetic similarity to ex-taku is amusing.

Welp. Last night, I wrote an email to the author of the Kinja article on The Observer. She wants to post my email. I said yes, so long as she removes the statements that identify me by name.

Yeah, I met guys like PABastien, Rathorial, and Squibsforsquids on Kotaku. A LOT of the starred commenters were absolutely fantastic people with a quality of writing I cannot even begin The one and only one rule of Kotaku seems to be "don't call out the writers," except for that one time in which I called out the writers and got Comment of the Week (and 519 responses to my thread at last count). Other than that--if you keep on the topic at hand, or be inarguably right about a subject (like the time I derailed a topic about Kojima to talk about how Warren Spector was one of the most influential developers of all time and was so convincing that Totilo gave me a star), they'll be good about it. It was a genuinely worthwhile site, and the commenters were very good. I'd say they've been the best over the past year than they were since I first popped my head in back in 2006. http://observer.com/2012/06/deadliest-klatsch-nick-denton-gives-gawkers-drive-by-peanut-gallery-a-promotion/ Actually, Kinja's a great idea. Turning the site into effectively a guided place for discussion is fantastic. The problem is that in practice, it kills discussion. If I were him, I'd want my millions back. This is not the system he should have gotten. I'm considering writing the author of the article, actually. I really enjoyed reading it, but I thought I'd offer a non-Gawker commenter perspective.

Wow, I wasn't sure if my plan to flood OT/TAY/Speakup was going to get anyone or not. I'm glad it worked.

As Faiblesse pointed out, Bethesda games are loved by many--and they've been recommended in these very threads. Yes, STALKER was notoriously unstable. It's significantly better now, especially after Patch 1.5. Before then, good god, ya'll, that was a nightmare. Now it, and its sequels, are good. I think the fact that they are among the greatest games that have ever been made is well worth putting them on the list, particularly with the all-but-required Complete mods.

CTRL+F STALKER CTRL+F S.T.A.L.K.E.R. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl, with Complete+AMK. Best gaming experience I have ever had.

We're past today's window now. My guess is that it's not coming when it normally does (should have hit today, but we have a weekend sale, so probably not), but some time in July. Valve TENDS to update at 8 AM and 12 PM, but this isn't always the case.

I'm DocSeuss. Did that really need a thing... or...?

You're welcome, Dean. Sucks I couldn't do more. Also, fwiw, guys, since I'm not a fan of the non-logged X-Talk chat, I'm fucking about with an IRC channel over on IRCHighway called #TAY.

I quite like this game. I'm very bad at it, and it beats my pants off, but I quite like it. It's broken in a couple areas, like... taking over a lot of planets in a system seems to be a bad idea because many of them add negative culture ratings that HURT your ability to be productive, but at the same time, you can't terraform a planet until AFTER you've colonized it, and you can't terraform certain types into other types--like, you can't go directly from lava to arid. Plus, terraformation takes WAAAY too long (20 turns is a pretty major chunk of a game).

I looked for a thread but I couldn't find one. Sorry 'bout that, Hot Heart. Hakidia, it's a game with a co-op campaign. I can't beat the second to last mission by myself. You could get the demo on Arcade and check it out for yourself.

Trenched/Iron Brigade is awesome. I think it's probably my favorite Double Fine game, actually, because the humor is great and the setting even greater. That said, I cannot beat the second to last level--the one where you have to defend your boss. Any suggestions? Anyone wanna co-op it?

PS3 sticks suck and don't aim well (also, PS3 version is the worst, apparently, going by Eurogamer's reaction). I was only using softlock, by the way, not hardlock. I'm going to give the game a playthrough later on--I realize that the levels are still poorly designed (New Jersey has the best levels and I can't praise them enough--they're nice and open, allowing a lot more play with shootdodge and bullet time), the story still sucks, and all that jazz--because I'm curious to see what it's like with mouseaim. Really sucks the game's 35GB, though. Most of that is actually just HD cutscenes (same reason God of War, with its low-poly assets and low-quality textures was so huge--the video's HD stuff and takes up a LOT of storage space). The game would be a lot smaller if they were in-engine and, y'know, didn't exist for things like climbing ladders.

I actually grew to love his new voice. Screw the old one. I don't even remember it; this Cole's got a better sense of humor. I've beat a bunch of games, but my list of stuff is at home. Max Payne 3 was the most recent--would not recommend to anyone, even for the $4.15 I paid to rent it. Presently playing Prototype 2--holy shit is this game fun. It fixes everything wrong with the first one and has a more compelling world than even Infamous 2's (previous favorite of the Infamous/Prototype grudge match). Playing these games is a bit like watching people constantly one-up each other. Also, James Heller's moment with the computer is one of the funniest moments in gaming history. Plot's not super great, and Blackwatch is almost goofily evil.

(Light spoilers regarding gameplay. No real story bits.) I didn't think I could hate a game as much as this. A description! Ten minutes of cutscene that's not interesting (basically "I shaved my head 'cause um... I shaved my head. Also I know where the girl is. Also, people don't like me!"), followed by two minutes of following a little kid (who yells at you for being slow, but THE RUN BUTTON IS DISABLED FOR NO REASON AT ALL), followed by five minutes of cutscene, followed by thirty seconds of walking across a cesspit and up some stairs, followed by another minute of cutscene, followed by walking down an alley, followed by another minute of cutscene (half way down the alley), followed by another ten minute of cutscene (my controller fell asleep)... and finally, FINALLY, gameplay. After two or three minutes of gameplay, you step into a room, a cutscene with a cokehead occurs, then you step out... and more cutscene. The breakdown was around 35 minutes total, with three minutes of gameplay, two minutes of walking, and thirty minutes of cutscene. Other sections of the game are a bit more generous, but still... it's pretty bad. It's about a 70/30 cutscene/gameplay ratio. Even simple things, like climbing ladders, are cutscenes. Worse still, there are at least three sections where Max is incredibly beat up so he walks REALLY SLOWLY, like the end of Mass Effect 3. The game is hard only because they've lowered your health significantly--which is frustrating, because it means you can't bullet time and shootdodge as easily as you'd like. Worse still, the health system is broken. Ideally, whenever you're injured, Max will bullet time and shoot the guy who injured him, taking a pill automatically to recover. It's a great idea, but about a third of the time, Max couldn't shoot the person who injured him because that person was behind cover, could see me but I couldn't see them, because the gun was out of ammo (and Max can't reload), because Max can't swing the gun around (often because it got stuck against cover)... Oh, and sometimes, even though you have pills, it doesn't work. Also, there are one-hit kill enemies, an escort mission for a pregnant woman, certain bits where you're supposed to do X or Y without knowing (like, "hey, go kill those two snipers through this bus window! Any time spent moving means that another person dies instantly!" or "hey, use the attack button to melee this dude--what? no! YOU CANNOT SHOOTDODGE. DON'T YOU DARE SHOOTDODGE!"), and, last, but not least: shooting galleries. If you thought Gears 3 was bad about taking cover and shooting (and do note, I love Gears of War 3, so when I say this was bad, I really mean it), Max Payne 3 is worse. There are entire sections where you pull L2, pull R2, and then repeat until each enemy is dead. The game, even on soft-lock, automatically zooms into certain enemies (rather than a Halo or Gears-style stickyaim), making shooting them a cakewalk. Problem is, you can't just aim down the sights like you would in ANY OTHER THIRD PERSON SHOOTER EVER. One time, I died because I tried to zoom into a guy and shoot him, but the game LOCKED ON A DEAD GUY ON THE FLOOR and I got shotgunned in the chest. There are at least five sections in the game where you don't move at all and just wait for people to move by. Then you shoot them. Two of these are sniping sections, and you can't even zoom--and sometimes, the game takes control of your scope and moves it all cinematic first persony. They're tedious and unfun. There were five times (three of which ended with gunfights) my controller died, because the wait was so long (so I died almost instantly). Also, the story's just bad. It's like... bad TV bad. There are a lot of "uh... okay?" moments throughout the story--NeoGAF's Max Payne 3 spoiler thread does a far better rundown on this than I could. PC version, I'm hoping, will be better with free mouse aiming (though still bad writing and 70% cutscenes). The PS3 version, which I played, was terrible.

Couple things: First, play Complete with AMK. Much better experience with lots of new things, like sleeping, eating, and so forth. Second, stop relying on Autosave and start quicksaving. Third, rebind the keys so that sprint is in a more friendly place, and memorize where quickbandage and quickfirstaid are. Fourth: pick up the stalker suit located in the attic of the house in the starting area. It's hard to get to, but so worth it. Fifth: turn down headbobbing (with AMK iirc) Sixth: travel light. Don't carry all the ammo you think you want--just carry around sixty to a hundred rounds a weapon (more for automatics). Carry one shotgun and one assault rifle with a scope. A sniper rifle's good if you're not dealing with mutants, but it's not a necessity.

It should be noted that Frankie somewhat exasperatedly posted on NeoGAF that they are NOT perks in the way you think they are.