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I want to play as well! Should I stroke myself or fondle my asshole tonight?
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You know, lately you guys have been getting weirder...
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Stick a rubber hose up your anus, straighten out a wire hanger, Attach a jellybean to the end of it, jam it in the hose as far as you can, enjoy.
If the jellybean falls off the wire before it goes in your butthole, you lose.
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Both. Don't shortchange yourself.