This one time, at GameStop....

[Chewblaha]

So most of you know that I worked at GameStop for nearly four years (three years, ten months, and fifteen days to be exact) and most of you know the horror stories I had.

 

Some of you heard how one kid wanted GTA just so he could shoot cops. Some heard of that 14 year old kid who pissed himself after he got top score on the archery game on our Wii. Some heard of that one guy who said he was gonna wait by my car to kick my ass because I wouldn't take his sealed games for cash. Some of you heard how I cropdusted directly into an eight year old kid's face who kept telling me to go fuck myself.

 

Some of you heard the brunt of it, hence the mini-meme that started whenever I'd start to tell a story on Skype or in chat.

 

 

Well there is much to be told about GameStop. Though the question is where to start? What I'll do is throw in some common things known about GameStop and share my tales. This will be closure for me from the job I loved so much.

 

Deal with it.

 

However...One cannot simply walk into a forum and talk randomly about his company. If you wanted me to start somehow, it'd take about ten minutes per paragraph. So I'll do it in nine--

 

NUMBER ONE:

 

GameStop pre-order quotas:

 

Well yes. We have quotas. I can say that 95% of jobs in the world have quotas that they must reach. Though for you being the same asshole who offers me a goddamn credit card everytime I go deposit my shit, you're also the same person that complains about how I throw in the idea of a pre-order.

 

Now I'm not gonna say I let EVERYONE know about pre-orders, because quite honestly, I can tell when people want to spend money and don't. I'm not gonna ask a guy who is buying Orphen on his PS2 from our 99 cent bin if he wants to pre-order White Knight Chronicles 2. Most of the time when people are paying that little for a game, their common response to that would be "Who the fuck played that shitty ass game the first time around?"

 

I mean, don't think that all of you are the only ones who shout out "PREORDERSWAAHHHHH." It's only when you're on the fucking internet do those testicles made of durasteel come out and complain or insult.

 

Here are most of those people who complain.

 

However there was only ever one person who ever truly complained like the real life was the internet. I remember him perfectly because he looked exactly like Sonny Bono. Minus the stupid haircut. He always fat and looked like he was clumsy as fuck. In fact, he looked nothing like Sonny Bono, though he thought he was cool because he grew that fucking stupid looking moustache. I remember the day like it was the first line of Star Wars.

 

 

Him: [Puts a used copy of Folklore onto the counter, silent as he clearly does not want to converse with the disgusting likes of a GameStop employee].

 

Me: [Get's game, silently as I have always hated this person]

 

Him: "Whoa. Those Street Fighter 4 thumbwar covers look awesome."

 

Me: "Yeah. You get them with your purchase if you reserve them."

 

As if some fucking nuke had exploded in his moustache, his face twists to anger.

 

Him: "WHY THE FUCK WOULD I RESERVE IT?! THIS IS ALL YOU FUCKING DO AT THIS PITIFUL COMPANY IS TRY TO MANIPULATE US INTO RESERVING YOUR STUPID FUCKING TITLES."

 

Me: "Well you reserve it to get the thumbwar covers."

 

Him: "I don't WANT to reserve it."

 

Me: "I didn't ask if you did."

 

Him: "I don't care, I'm letting you know now."

 

Me: "Okay. Well. I'm not gonna sell you this copy of Folklore then. Have a nice day!"

 

He yells at me, tells me I don't have the right to refuse service. Then I showed him the "we have the right to refuse service" sign.

 

That was a great time.

 

 

___________________________________________________________________

 

There was another time where a guy had come in and asked to pick up his copy of some shitty PSP game. Whatever that shitty game was for that shitty system. That one. Well he came in asking to pick his reserved copy up.

 

After searching his incredibly unique name several times, I finally told him it wasn't in our system.

 

Now normally when people hear something like that. It's a question at first like "huh? really?" No. This guy became a straight up douchebag almost to the point where his asshole levels were equal to the LeBron James jersey he had on. Fucker started yelling at me and, at first, I was kind of in shock. My reactive positions to these situations are like car gears. I go into "explain first, explain again, kind of let them know they're rude, tell them to get the fuck out." Around this time I was still around the "explain first" part. Well anyway, this guy goes on screaming at my ass for about four minutes, kind of forcing people to leave and shit. That's when I kinda went into "Chewie internet mode" (AKA angry) with him. There were no other customers in the store by the point I was angry and my Manager was in the back doing system checks. I started raising my voice slightly and this guy told me to go fuck myself. At that point I didn't want any more to do with the guy and left him for my manager, who I went to the back to get because, as fucking unbelievable as this would sound to you guys, I do my best not to be rude in real life. FUCKIN' SERIOUSLY! Anyway, during the argument I had suggested several times that since he works in the city that's literally down the road, perhaps he reserved it at that GameStop that was literally down the road. A fucking innocent suggestion and this guy took it worse. He literally asked me "WHY WOULD I RESERVE IT THERE IF I ALWAYS COME HERE?!"

 

I feel kind of bad to this day that I responded with "I don't know why the hell do we exist?" I mean, it's not rude, it's just really stupid.

 

Anyway, I called the other store down the street and it turns out THAT HE DIIIID HAVE IT RESERVED THERE! I then proceeded to look up the phone number he had stored with us at the store (because OH SHIT YEAH WE HAD PHONE NUMBERS! [Waiting for someone to complain about that shit too]) and I had the most fun ever with this guy's voicemail. I was completely polite. Told him, in a very fake happy tone, that the mistake was indeed his and that he did indeed reserve it at the store down the street.

 

Never saw him after that. Yessss! Fuck the Heat!

 

________________________________________________________

 

Now here's one of me being a complete screwup. This particular event took place took place during the Rangers-Yankees series. More specifically after the Yankees had that stupid comeback early on in the series. WELL! This attractive woman, age 24 at the time, came around looking for a copy of The Show. Well! Normally, and I'm gonna say this, I don't expect many women to be buying sports games for themselves. So I pretty much kept my mouth shut throughout the whole transaction. Then somewhere in there she asked me "How is it?" Well I got kind of excited for a second (BECAUSE THE SHOW '11 IS THE BEST GAME ON THE PS3) and told her about the different mechanics they had added this time around and how Road to the Show is more like an RPG than it is a simulator. I told her she just needs to turn off the stick mechanics and stick to buttons. Then she told me "Yeah, I am really good with the button scheme, I know that much from when I tried this out at my friend's."

 

Then I said "Oh, played it for the first time or something?"

 

Then....someone who looks the complete opposite nerded out about MLB '10 almost as much as I had.

 

Lost in my daze, we spoke for about 45 minutes until my manager told me to shut up. During this whole 45 minutes we spoke about baseball, about teams, RBI's, ERA's, WHIP's, slugging percentages, on base percentages. Our favorite teams. Everything! Her friend clearly had grown annoyed but she was so into it, I could tell...

 

Then what? When she said that her friend had needed to leave and she was going to have to leave too, well I did what any guy in his right mind would do in that situation.

 

Oh wait, no I didn't.

 

I said "have a nice day!"

 

FUCK.

 

________________________________________________________

 

EDIT: August 28th, 2011 at 02:35

 

Well I remembered this one while I was watching Dawn of the Dead, as the old guy looked like this guy.

 

Well. This guy and his wife brought in their two DS Lites they had purchased (I remember exactly when they had as this guy had been a fucking pain in the ass when he originally was buying it used) and wanted to get their warranties out because theirs had "malfunctioned."

 

Well, me being the guy knowing all about the system, asked to see both of them.

 

Well he pulled out four pieces after that. Seven if you include the broken battery cover and two broken LED fixtures from the system.

 

Shit looked like this, except the screen was completely detached.

 

 

TWO OF THEM!

 

Increduously was the only word I could use to describe the stare I gave him. I said that (as I had told him when he picked up his PRP's) that we do not cover physical damage on the systems. I NEVER forgot to stress that.

 

EVER.

 

He fucking acted like Gary Gygax had risen from the grave right there and cockslapped him.

 

Fucker started demanding to know where that was said, as he remembered me and claimed that I had never told him that. Which is bullshit because I reminded myself so goddamn much about mentioning that detail that my body automatically shits when I forget.

 

And I never shat my pants there.

 

So, calmly and rationally, I pull out his PRP, which has ALL THE INFORMATION WRITTEN IN SIZE TWO FONT FOR MY EYES THAT SOMETIMES GET DYSLEXIC TO READ TO HIM.

 

He had me read him the pamphlet word for word.

 

I pointed out where it was to him for him to read it.

 

He refused to leave until I read it word for word. Seeing as how this shit was during Christmas, I decided that I didn't want the cops shoving some guy's face onto my counter and ruining the jolly fucking mood.

 

So I read this shit to him in a calm and obviously sarcastic manner.

 

I made sure to bold my voice when it got to the part that it mentioned what he had needed to hear.

 

Then, after all that shit (in which I was raging silently in my brain), he tells me that he didn't violate the policy.

 

That was my brain's reaction, but not my body's.

 

I asked how that was possible (I really wanted to scream "FUCKING" during that, but I was at work and in control).

 

He told me: "Well the device had malfunctioned before the drop happened that broke these."

 

Me: "Okay. Well these are broken now."

 

Him: "But they weren't broken before the drop."

 

Me: "Okay. These are broken NOW, though."

 

Him: "But they weren't FUCKING WORKING BEFORE."

 

Me: "Sir. First: Don't yell at me like that, as I am calm with you right now. Second: These are broken NOW. I mean, maybe they weren't working before that, you know, I don't doubt that at all. Used systems can always have unseen problems arise. Though these are broken now. Now. They were broken then, too, and we could've done something about it had you brought it to us not like this. If you ha--"

 

Him: "Give me your number to HR."

 

Me: "HR doesn't handle returns. That's the main hotline or Loss Prevention."

 

Him: "No. I want your number to HR so I can get you fired."

 

Me: "Oh well here you go!"

 

I gave him the number to HR. He stormed the fuck off.

 

Told him to have a night after that and I treated myself to a Choco Taco I had put into the freezer in the back room.

 

The worst part of that night was still, and always will be, the Choco Taco.

 

 

Fuck you, ChocoTaco!

_________________________________________________________________________

 

While I was raging in the Diablo III thread, I remembered this story.

 

So I was working on a Wednesday night during October. This is code meaning that it was as slow as Carson Palmer on a Segway.

 

Anyway, me and my buddy were working and this lady came in. I had been on the floor looking for which game I could check out. I remember that we had Red Faction: Guerrilla just traded in and I was going to try it out.

 

Irrelevant. Anyway.

 

So this lady comes up, starts asking me for obscure GameCube games. I know for a fact that we have them because I had just put them in. It was some SuperMonkey Ball game and other shit. Anyway--

 

The lady then walks to the counter with the box, not even letting me know that she wants to buy it. She just took the box from my hand, real fast (UNFORGIVABLE), and walked up. Didn't say a word.

 

Well, I walk back, and I almost bump into her. So that whole shit happens where you are in someone's way and vice versa, so you move in a direction so they can pass, and they do the same in the same direction. That happens like three times. Then she just sticks her arm out for me to pass (pretty sarcastically) and tells me to "Hurry up, for Christ's sake."

 

Not giving a shit because it was Wednesday and because I wanted to get back to my game search, this lady pays with an ATM card. She then keeps telling me it's a credit card. I tell her it's an ATM card, because there's no major corporation like Visa, Mastercard, Discover, or AX on the front. There's a CIRRUS logo on the back, which is an ATM card.

 

She bitches for about five minutes after I tried running it twice as credit and I got the expected decline sound. Whatever. I just helped her out, didn't fight back at all.

 

Then she gets her shit, real pissed off, and leaves. I walk back out to the floor, but I can feel the humidity comig in from outside. She's standing on the threshold, staring at her wrist. She comes back in, because I wasn't gonna fucking go ask what she wanted, and stands at the side counter for about ten minutes. Just standing there. Not looking at any of us. Just standing there.

 

After ten minutes, I ask her if she needed help. She throws (in the sense that she kinda just shovel passed the shit into my chest) her bracelet. She tells me it's broken. I stare at it, wondering when our fucking GameStop sign turned into a fucking DeBeers sign.

 

Then, after two minutes of staring, I say "Okay?"

 

She tells me she wants us to repair it.

 

I scoff.

 

She, increduously, asks "EXCUSE ME?"

 

"How is this our fault?"

"It got stuck on the latching mechanism attached to the door."

 

"The door. The lock on the door, to be exact."

 

"No. It was not the door that broke my bracelet."

 

"It WAS the door. Just part of the door that broke it."

 

"No. The latching mechanism is not part of the door."

 

"The LOCK...IS part of the door. I mean. It's attached to the door. It is welded into the door."

 

"It is not the door."

 

"OKAY! SO it IS the 'latching mechanism attached to the door,' how is that our fault?"

 

"It stuck out far."

 

"And?"

 

"My bracelet got caught in it."

 

"Why do you wear it so loose?"

 

"That's none of your business."

 

"Neither is you getting it caught in the door. That's YOUR mistake. Have a nice day."

 

She proceeds to rage a bit at me after that. Telling me I'm a jerk and that it's our fault that latching mechanisms are put onto doors, not her's and all that. She tells us she's gonna have us all fired and so I write up the report to our DM. I was incredibly detailed and incredibly sarcastic in that business type way.

 

That was a great day.

_________________________________________________________________________

 

It's around here that I literally typed out several lengthy stories over 40 minutes completely forgetting that I was talking about pre-order quotas. Hmmm. This won't work!

 

I leave this up to you all.

 

Now it's time for you all to ask the questions. The questions of what you've always wondered about GameStop. Policies, gutting, pre-orders, GameInformers. Anything you all want and I will willingly and willfully (ha) answer them.

Edited September 13, 2011 by Chewblaha

[Mal]

Well, have you ever raided the field destroy stuff and such? Them posters and cardboard stuff are pretty cool to have...

 

My brother and his coworkers did or do that. Out of sight from the area managers and such, of course. Hell, I got this here wired 360 display controlle- I need to fucking clean this shit. All the lines and crevices are BLACK! Imagine all the hands that touch this... ahem. At least I got Atlas and P-body cutouts... and some other stuff that I would have had to preorder to get...

 

Pre-order on Amazon, get pre-order bonus. Call up brother and get Gamestop pre-order bonus. Fuck yeah.

 

What not so fuck yeah is him blotching my renewal and I end up getting TWO copies of GI. I was afraid I would get three... and that bit of my brother's store getting robbed. Then again, he gave them what they want and not a single fuck was given. Not his problem.

[Chewblaha]

Nah. I never did anything illegal, if that's what you mean. Because raiding field destroy is illegal, even after the stuff's destroyed.

 

However. When Microsoft pulled their Forza 2/Marvel Ultimate Alliance bundles out of their old ass 360s from 2007, we had received individually wrapped copies of the game to sell to people for the systems that didn't have bundles. Not sell, but tack on.

 

We got to keep those legally, because those were ordered to be thrown away.

 

I also TOTALLY got Guild Wars: EOTN and Nightfall for two cents total.

 

And about 70 different strategy guides. Also, I'm pretty surprised you have two GI's tied to one address. That shit is hard to pull off. Usually frowned upon as well.

 

I updated the top post, btw.

[Chewblaha]

Oh, but I tell you I had fun with those field destroy boxes...

 

Most of the time, we had to have the DM come and deestroy stuff. Sometimes, I just couldn't wait.

 

We had about seven of those shitty Guitar Hero 1 guitars that were to be put into FD. Broke that shit on the ground like Jimi Hendrix. Wrestled one to the ground like it was a UFC fighter, and judo kicked the rest.

 

Oh man that was fun.

[Mal]

Eh, NYC so what did you expect? Let some of the better stuff go to waste? Ho hum... I think I got two issues of GI because... actually, I have no idea. Now that I think of it, they were both under my name or was it one was under me and the other my mom... blah. All I know it happened when my mom and my brother renewed my card or something around the same time.

 

OH. Do you ever get ghost shipments? Whatever reason, it happens a few times. They tried to search it up but no cigar and waiting them out did nothing. I got a few games like this...

[Chewblaha]

I had always heard the legends of Ghost Shipments, though we never received one.

 

However there was one GameCrazy employee who magically had boxes that "fell off the truck" each time he came to trade stuff in. We never accepted it, but it was always an interesting choice of words when talking with him.

 

 

However, I DID order about 30 tournament boxes from the Time Spiral block (Magic) from New York. Cost me only 30 bucks to buy them all together.

Edited August 27, 2011 by Chewblaha

[Mal]

That guy tried to trade in whole boxes of stuff? He's sure is subtle.

 

What I think most people do is just split the stuff. Like 2-4 copies of each games per person. The rest is history...

 

You know, maybe I shouldn't be talking of these stuff. I might, you know, somehow get my brother fired or worst.

[Saturnine Tenshi]

I can't even begin to touch all of the different people I've encountered. There was this one asshat, some cantankerous guy was getting rowdy over something about a trade-in value or something equally asinine. Thought I was lying. So(having the thin monitors) I grabbed the monitor, twisted it mid-air and shoved it into his face. He looked at the monitor, at the GA beside me like "You better handle your pal" and just left. Bitch.

 

Then there was this "regular", and I use that only in the most pliant sense of the word. She worked in the mall — I was a keyholder at a mall store — and her children would always hang out for hours like we were a fucking nursery. So she comes in, skips a gigantic line, and tells me she wants something. I tell her there were people in the line ahead of her. She gets angry. I then get rancorous myself and tell her I'm not going to help her. Store manager didn't like that.

 

Oh, and we were fairly slow, but I was working on distribution while my(old, cool) manager ran the register. Generally, I did operational duties. Dude starts flipping out, calling us racist and saying, in some pseudo-New Yorkian accent that he's not taking this shit and he wants service. I call security. The flapjack ass-maggot gets hostile and the police friggin' tackle him.

 

Lastly, some kid came in that'd like to return an opened new game. Shit was scratched all to hell and he didn't have the receipt(though it did have the Gamestop sticker on the front). I tell him he can't return new games, and that it's no longer in new condition. I repeat this to his ninnyhammer of a father, who explains, in a sour voice, that he and his wife were out shopping when the kid(who is really a teen) bought the game. My rejoinder is that he should have been watching his child if he can't take responsibility for the kid's actions. Unfortunately, the DM was there at the time. >.>

 

So many of these... stories similar to Chewie's, roaches scurrying out of trade-in Wiis... ugh.

 

[Chewblaha]

A guy brought in a Wii full of pubes once.

[TheRevanchist]

Pubes? Must have been using it on his wii-wii.

[RockyRan]

Did you ever have one of those losers who just "hang" around the store for like 3 hours talking to you for absolutely no reason, often rambling to "show off" his "gaming prowess"? I've seen a couple of those in my numerous "I'm only here because I'm bored" GS browsings

[Waldorf and Statler]

Have you ever removed Gamestop competitors' pamphlets/coupons from inside the game cases because "fuck them that's why"?

[Chewblaha]

Pubes? Must have been using it on his wii-wii.

 

Well. I picked it up with paper towels. Then he asked me what was wrong and I didn't respond. I asked if there was a game inside and he told me there was. I ejected the game and tons of pubes came out with the disc. I told him I couldn't take it.

 

He totally understood.

 

 

 

Did you ever have one of those losers who just "hang" around the store for like 3 hours talking to you for absolutely no reason, often rambling to "show off" his "gaming prowess"? I've seen a couple of those in my numerous "I'm only here because I'm bored" GS browsings

 

Some kids that would talk about Call of Duty sometimes while they'd wait for their parents to pick them up would always be in there for hours at a time. It's really annoying because you can't really relax while they're in there as you have to keep an eye on them while you're doing a job that requires at least two.

 

I've seen all types of loiterers who range from little kids with their broken DS Lites in their hands to neckbeard high schoolers coming in and playing their guitar. Playing some shit like Lamb of God at 1/8 the speed thinking they're cool.

 

Now as far as fuckers who show off their gaming prowess: I don't know what I said...this was three years ago (I remember my incidents by the era of store managers I had. I had six in four years. Six.) and some guy had just paid about 4800 bucks for an Alienware he was telling me.

 

I said "Oh that's cool."

 

"WANNA HEAR THE SPECS?"

 

Me, completely wanting to avoid the situation said: "Well I really don't know much about har--"

 

"I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU!"

 

He runs the fuck outside like his girlfriend is fucking someone on his car and runs back in like he found out it was his parents fucking on his car.

 

He pulls out this fucking Bladerunner briefcase and just pulls out some shit with two microfiber cloths. This fucking thing is a desktop replacement and he tells me the ENTIRE story behind it. The specs of it, what it can do, how the screen was supposedly 1600P how it could run fucking Crysis full go and all this shit. I was just like "oh that's cool, that's cool." Then he felt the need to show me some shit called "Stealth mode." Where he pushes some button and his video card detaches into Johannesburg or some shit.

 

I didn't fucking care. I mean, there was absofuckiinglutely nothing to do that day (I EVEN HAD CLEANED THE TOILET) and this fucker kept on INSISTING to tell me specs. Then finally the phone rang and I fucking jumped on that thing and didn't let go.

 

Man that guy was bad. Sucks that he had some awesome salary job in which he does nothing but check out if people went to their service stations for electricity or some shit.

 

 

Have you ever removed Gamestop competitors' pamphlets/coupons from inside the game cases because "fuck them that's why"?

 

 

 

No. Seeing as how the 9th was my last day, I didn't stick around long enough to refuse to do that task.

Edited August 28, 2011 by Chewblaha

[Chewblaha]

I updated the OP with a new story. I'll do so more often the more I remember some of the better ones.

[Mercurial]

This one time at gamestop I went in and got out without incident.

[Strangelove]

You ever get a blind person coming in trying to find a present for their son?

[toxicitizen]

Don't really shop at Gamestop myself, so I don't have any stories.

But I was wondering about one thing.

 

If someone walks in to buy a new game, you give an already opened copy from the back and he asks for a sealed one, assuming you have any, what are you instructed to do in such a situation?

[Chewblaha]

This one time at gamestop I went in and got out without incident.

 

I think you may be one of MILLIONS who has had that happen to them.

Edited January 6, 2012 by Chewblaha

[Chewblaha]

You ever get a blind person coming in trying to find a present for their son?

 

No, don't think I met any people who were blind during my time there. There was a guy who pretended to be deaf though and would try to sell us those cards with sign language on it. One day a cabinet fell while he was inside and he reacted to it pretty appropriately.

 

Don't really shop at Gamestop myself, so I don't have any stories.

But I was wondering about one thing.

 

If someone walks in to buy a new game, you give an already opened copy from the back and he asks for a sealed one, assuming you have any, what are you instructed to do in such a situation?

 

Just search the listings up on which store has a new copy and call to check if it's sealed. Copies that show up in online inventory (our database) don't show up with a specific amount. Just under four, four to nine, and ten plus.

[RockyRan]

Any robberies or situations of physical danger (I'm doubting it, seeing as they'd probably be the first stories you'd tell about )?

[ChiltonGaines]

What about favorite customers or really good times that are out of the ordinary (besides sporty hotness and wrestling guitars)?

[excel_excel]

God damn it Chewy, fucking laughed my ass off at all those stories.

 

What about some of the dumbest reasons why people have returned things? I mean not like things they destroyed but maybe a game they got bored of or hated

[Chewblaha]

Any robberies or situations of physical danger (I'm doubting it, seeing as they'd probably be the first stories you'd tell about )?

 

I was lucky enough to never have been in one of those situations.

 

Though I'll tell you a story on why our bathroom was off-limit to the public.

 

Now, and I heard this from my old assistant manager, that when the store had first opened in the area (about two years before I started working there) that the original store manager was allowed to let people in to the restroom and all that shit. One guy came in and asked if he could go.

 

Now most of you would think like "OH SHIT HE SHITCLOGGED THE TOILET WARRHH!"

 

No. He did not Tacobell the toilet. Instead apparently, and this is what I had HEARD (I'm 90% sure it's false, but goddamn is it funny), the guy had dropped a Nessy and picked it up with a big roll of toilet papers and wrote "Fuck Gamestop" on the wall.

 

Now. I know that's a robbery of one man's imagery. If that is true, then that first manager will never forget that.

 

Got dang that's hilarious, though.

[Chewblaha]

What about favorite customers or really good times that are out of the ordinary (besides sporty hotness and wrestling guitars)?

 

Favorite customer of mine had to have been a guy that came in about twice a week. Great guy that I had in different history classes over about three years at my college. Spent so much damn money at the store that he would bring a foldup chair with him to sit down and chat while his kids looked around. Great guy. Energetic and always positive. I still talk to him a lot as he works with my dad now at my dad's new job.

 

Some of my favorite moments though had to have been from the different tournaments we ran. My old co-worker had entered in the Pokemon tournament as the even number player who was ineligible as far winning any prizes. Anyone that played against him would be an auto-win, but they still had to play against him.

 

Well. This was for Pokemon Battle Revolution, my friend had tons of hacked pokemon and all that and was just looking to clean house.

 

Then the first bracket goes up (about twenty four people total were there. I spread it out evenly and all that) and he's playing this tiny five year old girl. She looked right out of one of those commercials for downy clothing softener. She goes up with her stuff and enters her pokemon and all that.

 

This chick was like a fuckin' Xena in the pokemon world apparently, because she had some 100's too. All of which were the exact predators of my friend's. Still , he dismissed her and all that shit as being a kid and not knowing what.

 

Wipes the fucking floor with his face, or with whatever was left of it in the aftermath.

 

She went on to win a free copy of the game as well as a 50 dollar gift card. She was so adorable.

 

So adorable that when you turned around to tell your friends how cute she is she had a fucking Bowie knife in your spine.

 

Had a Madden tournament once.

 

View StaySick's profile for .gifs that may or not me of someone who is wearing a Greg Olsen jersey who may or may not have had too many cupcakes from the release and may or may not have been incredibly hyper.

 

That was TOTALLY not me.

 

One of my favorite moments ever, yeah. I loved Midnight releases and tournaments. Those were the best parts of the job. I had so much fun.

 

I was demoing Dead Space 2 for people and we had all the lights in the store off and a speaker system set up.

 

You know that intro scene where the television comes on in that pitch black room? Yeah. My voice rose about seventeen octaves as I screamed .

 

God damn it Chewy, fucking laughed my ass off at all those stories.

 

What about some of the dumbest reasons why people have returned things? I mean not like things they destroyed but maybe a game they got bored of or hated

 

Well this one fucking kid came in once and bought a Jak and Daxter PSP bundle during the holiday season. Wanna say it was about two weeks or a week and a half before Christmas. He came in with his mom and picked all the stuff out and yeah that was gonna be his gift.

 

Well I showed him the box and everything, this was back when sony had those cheap-ass plastic covers covering the system itself (So if your plastic tore, the system became a stock broker from 1929) and you could see all the shit and all that.

 

Well I sold him all the stuff and they even bought the PRP, was a pretty standard transaction that went quickly and smoothly, especially for it being the holidays.

 

Well the mom comes back with the system and they have it out and everything, it's just brand new and silver and I thought maybe it was one of the dud's and I'll just switch it out for him.

 

Well the mom said "He didn't know it was silver."

 

Wat.

 

It's a clear plastic window showing you the friggin' system itself. What else would it be?

 

"Well. I mean. The box on the side shows it in silver and even the plastic window shows that it's silver."

 

"Well, we couldn't tell."

 

"It's transparent."

 

"We weren't paying attention."

 

"Okay, well what would you like to do with it?"

 

"Can we get a black one?"

 

"Bundles aren't made with black systems."

 

"Oh that's alright, we'll just keep all this stuff."

 

"Wat."

 

Yes. I said "wat."

 

"We'll just keep the free stuff from here."

 

"I can't do that."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because they're part of the bundle pack and if you return the bundle pack then you return everything inside of it. I told you that when you bought it."

 

"Okay. Well. I'm going to keep it, and you're going to give me a black one?"

 

"Okay. No."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"No. I can't do that. Each system is coded with its serial number and if I give you a black system and put the silver one in our stock pack, then that is going to screw up the logs of the store."

 

"What is a serial number."

 

Sigh. "This."

 

I flipped the PSP over.

 

THERE WAS NOTHING THERE.

 

Kid says "Oh that sticker? I took it off and threw it away."

 

"Oh. Well I can't take the system back without the serial number anyway. Sorry."

 

"WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?"

 

Rage after that and the manager had to esplain it to her.

 

Point is I couldn't switch systems because that would fuck up any future returns that might happen with it or any of the warranties with Sony if they were to break. Now because Sony requires you to have proof of purchase as well as the serial number, they'd assume something was up and that I sold them a bundle pack for a cheaper price and that can be acted upon.

 

Fuck that.

[CorgiShinobi]

I've got a question for you!

 

What are some other methods of payment customers have tried to push on you? You know, barter with other items or, from what I've heard in other retail stories, "services."