Hot Heart Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 "Hello, I am Hamilton Cork, famous publisher of books. I can tell with one sentence whether I want to publish your book or not. So have at it and you could wind up with a publishing contract! And don't try any run-on sentence nonsense or I will track you down and nut you with my conker head." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Heart Posted January 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 "No one dares? You're all wastrels!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strangelove Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 Must be some British thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanb Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 I don't get it either SL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Heart Posted January 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 Sigh. The idea would be for people to write a sentence that could open a book (silly as you like). Hamilton Cork would judge them. Never mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterDex Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 I got it! Then again I have good taste in TV shows so I've seen (and own) all of Mighty Boosh - For shame, Dean! For shame! I can't think of a setence right now though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CorgiShinobi Posted January 22, 2012 Report Share Posted January 22, 2012 I have to thank Adult Swim for introducing Mighty Boosh to the US masses, including myself of course. And Mr. Hamilton Cork, I have an idea for a book! "The air is so chilly I could cut through steel with these nipples of mine." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Heart Posted January 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2012 "The air is so chilly I could cut through steel with these nipples of mine." Atomsk, I applaud your efforts. It is not easy to open a novel with a line of speech. It can place so much emphasis on these words. You have done a wonderful job of establishing the atmosphere (chilly) and I detect this is the outlook of the entire story. This is a tale of adversity against harsh conditions; possibly one shared by at least two parties or just an exuberant individual. The speaker acknowledges these obstacles but revels in them, proudly boasting of the positives. I also suspect this may be some foreshadowing for an event later on where the character will triumph by performing the very task of which they spoke: slicing through steel with a hard and erect nipple. Some may call that hackneyed. I say modern literature has forgotten the power of a 'nipples slicing steel' moment and you may be the one to reawaken it. There is, however, one problem that I feel may affect the novel as a whole. A lack of identity. One would presume the speaker is male but, heaven knows, I have made that mistake before. It would be wise to clarify who is doing the speaking. Either way, I have decided to publish your book and will send along an advance of thirty euros. Don't spend it all at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMightyEthan Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 "OW! Fuck!" he exclaimed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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