My junk

[Hot Heart]

Don't know why I'm bothering to share this, maybe I'm looking for some encouragement. Ah, what the hell...

 

Once, I used to be an aspiring scriptwriter. But many factors soured my enthusiasm: lack of talent, crap British TV fiction, other commitments, need of money.

 

I still like to write a bit, as a hobby (because none of this stuff will get made). Sometimes, I'll apply for the odd script-editing position or the various new writer competitions. To no avail. I'd really like to write for videogames (and I've been told I have a talent for dialogue) but they're not easy to find and you can't just walk into those sorts of jobs.

 

In case you were interested, here are a few things I've written (the ones I'd be prepared to share). Any feedback is welcome! And if you notice some shared jokes or similarities that's called a 'unique voice' NOT being a lazy-ass writer.

 

My Own Worst Enemy

This is a sitcom I started writing as part of a course a few years ago. Didn't really think I had a talent for comedy (maybe I don't) but I'd been watching a lot of Seinfeld, and loved Peep Show, so I'd been keeping note of 'observations' (as Larry David did) and trying to turn that into a comedy.

 

I wrote two episodes that a guy at the BBC quite liked, but the bastard never gave me a job or any sign he'd be interested in hearing more from me... I remember finding it amusing while proof-reading, but I bet I'd cringe if I read it now.

 

Episode 1

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9621731/Scripts/My%20Own%20Worst%20Enemy%20-%201.1%20-%20Second%20Draft.pdf

 

Episode 2

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9621731/Scripts/My%20Own%20Worst%20Enemy%20-%201.2.pdf

 

 

The Powers That Be

 

This was sort of inspired by Heroes (season one was alright), but also some comics I'd been reading. It's actually supposed to be a comic script, and was initially for a friend who was working on illustration (and loved comics) to play around with (hence, no overbearing visual direction).

 

Issue 1

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9621731/Scripts/The%20Powers%20That%20Be%20-%20Issue%201.pdf

 

Issue 2

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9621731/Scripts/The%20Powers%20That%20Be%20-%20Issue%202.pdf

 

Issue 3

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9621731/Scripts/The%20Powers%20That%20Be%20-%20Issue%203.pdf

 

My friend never bothered doing anything with it (another story of failure for me!), but I think maybe it had some OK ideas?

 

SuperZeroes

 

This is the latest thing I've kinda been on and off about and writing more as a hobby. Started it about the same time as TPTB, so my friend had something a little more playful and classic-styled to work with. Once he'd showed no interest, I started working it into a sort of screenplay format. I have a lot more planned than is written here (and it needs a good clean-up really), but I've been busy with the writing about games stuff more recently.

 

So, yeah, it's not a very long script so far, not a lot of story, and maybe only Smooves will appreciate this one...

 

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9621731/Scripts/SuperZeroes%20Script.pdf

 

I've got other scripts, but I figured maybe this is more interesting and better showcases what I do.

 

Uh, enjoy?

[Showmeyomoves!]

I will check out all of them!

[jayc4life]

I saw this thread and though "Did Ethan miss the New Vegas signpost?"

 

Nonetheless I'll bookmark these and have a gander at them at some point.

[Showmeyomoves!]

Which one should I read first? SuperZeroes?

[Showmeyomoves!]

Never mind, started reading it now. I'll comment as I go. (Page numbers correspond to the PDF, not the comic.)

 

Page 1.

 

Did you read Nextwave? Because you should. This seems to have a similar tone already, I like it.

 

Page 2.

"Channel 6 News"? Nice.

 

Page 5.

 

"(A thought occurs)

Could you imagine them in be..."

 

Not sure what this is supposed to refer to. Did I miss a brilliant joke?

 

Page 7.

 

Loving the 'monkey mob' conversation. It reads like a good Penny Arcade comic.

 

Page 10.

I see a missed op-pun-tunity here. Click spoiler tag if you care for my lame suggestion.

 

 

The transition between page 11 and 12. The last panel on page 11 could be a picture of John lying in an uncomfortable position, with his ass pointing upwards. Then you could add a caption saying "Bottoms up!", leading into the bar scene on page 12.

 

It sounded good in my head, okay?

 

Page 12.

 

Loving the chase here. Are his pants still down? Because they should be.

 

Page 21.

 

This dialogue reads like a funny Seinfeld episode.

 

Page 32.

 

Where's the cliffhanger?!

[Showmeyomoves!]

My impression: I think it was awesome. I felt there were enough jokes on every page, something I don't even get from most big comic books (Nextwave is an exception to this, hence the comparison).

 

How serious are you about getting this stuff out there? Self-publishing is always an option.

 

It might be a good idea to put a bit of money aside and pay for a commission from an up-and-coming artist (or an industry pro, depending on how deep your pockets are). That way you won't have to worry about one of you losing interest in the project, as opposed to when you have someone working on your story for free. My brother-in-law did this a while back (didn't work out, but that was because of him), but I could ask him where he found artists if you're interested. It might seem like a bit of effort, but you'll really have something to show for all your effort (and money).

[Hot Heart]

Hey, man. Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed it and cheers for the suggestions (can't believe I didn't think of having Sid's pants down on page 12! Also, that reminds me that I'm not sure 'pissing' is a very American term. Might have to change that to 'taking a leak' or some funny euphemism)

 

Being a (very patchy) Warren Ellis fan, I have actually read most of NextWave (comic-loving friend bought the trade for me as a present ages ago, but lives far away and never actually gave it to me...so I found a torrent of most of it). I quite liked a lot of it, but some of it was terrible humour (and I should know). I was originally going for something similar in tone, but I decided to rein it in so it would be somewhat 'relatable'.

 

I'd forgotten why I went with Channel 6 News. That's from Anchorman, right?

 

You didn't miss a brilliant joke on page 5. Sid's sentence is meant to be interrupted by John and the last word was 'bed'. He has a dirty mind. But, man, that dialogue at the end there is terrible. I think it's because I changed it from them originally going 'Yeah, let's be a team' into something else to actually give John some sort of 'arc' but it looks too much like suddenly going 'Oh, actually, I shouldn't do this. Laters!'

 

There is no cliffhanger because right now it is a 'feature-length' story rather than episodic. I'd definitely be interested in trying to get someone to draw it, but I think I'd need to make a little more progress first; and I have no idea what sort of money it takes. If you know anyone or where to find someone, I'd appreciate it though.

 

Thanks again!

[Showmeyomoves!]

I'd forgotten why I went with Channel 6 News. That's from Anchorman, right?

 

tsk tsk

 

 

[Hot Heart]

Oh, yeah! Hahaha.

 

I think Anchorman was Channel 4; which sounds funny to a UK viewer.

[Showmeyomoves!]

BTW I will read the rest when I have some more time. It's a great way to spend a boring afternoon at work.

 

If you know anyone or where to find someone, I'd appreciate it though.

 

I just sent my bro-in-law a message. I'll let you know.

[D-K]

Oh right, forgot about this thing already. I'll read it in a minute, hh

 

Edit: cox? COX!? Hahahaha, Oh my.. I'm definitely remembering that.

 

Edit Edit: Well I got up to thát girl from marketing, will resume at a later time

[Showmeyomoves!]

BTW I will read the rest when I have some more time. It's a great way to spend a boring afternoon at work.

 

If you know anyone or where to find someone, I'd appreciate it though.

 

I just sent my bro-in-law a message. I'll let you know.

 

So apparently there's no such thing as a Utopian database of comic book artists looking for a writer. But he did link me to a forum:

 

http://www.digitalwebbing.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=67

 

Looks like they're all people who are looking for artists, letterers, colorists, etc. Might be a good place to start?

 

He also gave me a link to a couple that apparently does comic book commissions:

 

http://www.hebsandfish.com/

 

My B-i-L was writing a noir story, so I don't know if this is the style you're looking for for a superhero comic. Still, it's worth a look.

 

Oh, he also said getting a commission would cost about $70-$100. So if you decide to go through with this, make really sure the artist you choose meets your standards! It's not a bad idea to ask for a test page first. It's not cheap (especially with a 30 page book), but at least you know it will get done. And I really think there are more people out there who would pay to read this. I don't know anything about distribution, though.

 

Though that does remind me... I know a guy from another forum (Newsarama.com) who actually set up his own digital distribution company (iPhone, PSP, etc.) for original creator-owned comics. Haven't spoken to him in a while, but I could contact him if you'd like. Here's his website:

 

http://www.robotmedia.net/

[Hot Heart]

Aww, man. No comic book artist utopia?! Lame!

 

Do you mean $70-100 for a set amount of pages or per page? If it's the former that seems affordable, but it sounds like you mean the latter...which is a lot!

 

I'll check these out. You've certainly helped me in knowing where to start. Thanks! I really appreciate it.

[Showmeyomoves!]

Hey, no problem. And yeah, it's per page (as far as I understand it). I'm wondering if there are cheaper artists out there. On the other hand, I don't know a whole lot about drawing, but planning and drawing even one page seems like it would be a lot of work, so I can see why someone would ask that kind of money.

 

Also, I should probably make a new TAY story thread - the way I mentioned in the Old Republic Country (having the entire story in the OP).

[Hot Heart]

You should, now there's no KT here to ruin it!

[Showmeyomoves!]

Haha yeah, exactly.

[Showmeyomoves!]

Oh, I forgot to add a more obvious place he also mentioned: DeviantArt. You might even find someone who will do it for less than $70-100.

 

Also: the TAY Story thread is now taking suggestions.

 

The Terribly Trivial Tales of TAY - Gappoi! Edition

[Gyaruson]

Nice, hotty. I'm an aspiring filmmaker myself. With our powers combined!...

 

Also, My Own Worst Enemy was actually a show. Like, in real life. It stared Christian Slater and aired on NBC. Got cancelled after 7 or 8 episodes. It was about this regular Joe White Collar who has this chip implanted in his head but doesn't know it. Whenever the chip activates, he turns into Johnny Secret Spy and goes on secret government missions. Super Spy knows about the fake life, so he returns to his "fake" home and they deactivate the chip and no one ever knows. But then his chip starts haywiring and normal guy starts waking up mid-mission. That was the first episode.

 

Pretty interesting concept, too bad it got cancelled.

 

Is yours anything like that?

[Hot Heart]

Yeah, I'd heard about that show (never seen it since I doubt it came to the UK) but my script was done about a year before it.

 

And mine is nothing like that. It's more like a combination of Peep Show and Seinfeld. I started it on a course as a requirement (hence, no great deal of planning or originality) but my tutor liked it so much, I decided to follow it up and do a second episode (with a third in the planning stages).

 

It was named after a Lit song, and partly because it was about two friends aiding each other in 'overcoming their own personal flaws' or somesuch. Which is, like, the oldest writing trope there is.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcjdz1f0gXA

 

I was originally an aspiring filmmaker, but a module on the course (and a shitty partner) put me off that. I think I had a talent for 'framing' shots (so, cinematographer?) but I didn't think I had the technical skill or drive to make a career of it.

[D-K]

So I've gotten a bit further with those links, are you going to illustrate them yourself, gregg?

[Showmeyomoves!]

He charges $120 per page. He can't afford that. (Have you not been reading the thread?!)

[D-K]

I have not. Frankly, reading the epitome of every joke HH ever concieved in pdf-form is enough, thank you.

 

Also, is gregg going to charge gregg 120-, per page drawn by gregg? I'm sure gregg is a decent enough guy to loan gregg some money..

 

To be fair, I'm probably partly to blame for having the attention span of a rabid weasel.

[Showmeyomoves!]

But that's why we love you, Dave.

 

Gregg, I'm reading the MOWE script and I have to ask: WTF is a "Polo"? That won't fly over here in the mainland. I guess the Americans would call them Lifesavers (oh, ironic!), but we don't have those here either.

[Showmeyomoves!]

Haha, still reading the MOWE script. I'm at the Seinfeld reference. Not sure if it's too on-the-nose, but it made me chuckle.

 

That's what I meant earlier in the chat, when I was talking about Bendis' Avengers books. He does that type of dialogue, but he uses it constantly to the point where it's really not funny anymore. It's like he's too busy too come up with witty dialogues, so he just has the characters repeating each others lines. But I digress.

[Hot Heart]

Yeah, the Seinfeld reference I added just to acknowledge who I was ripping off.

 

THEY ARE CALLED POLOS THEY ARE POLOS OK?! Yeah, that's a very British joke. I think I put a few UK 'sweet/candy' references in there (clothing line or whatever is called 'Allsorts' as in Bassett's Allsorts, I believe) and the episode is called 'Oh, sweet irony' (even though I don't think it actually contains irony).

 

 

Ha. Funny you should say that about Bendis because when my friend was trying to get me to read Powers, the first page is exactly that. Except in this case you could justify it as the character being 'incredulous'...and I don't think it was trying to be funny. It was a good series though.