Last Crap Movie You Saw

[Strangelove]

17 dollars? Did you get a blowjob and a small bag of popcorn with that? I hope so.

[Faiblesse Des Sens]

Imax or faux imax and in 3D would be my guess.

[Johnny]

Considering he mentions the 3D, I'd say he watched it in 3D.

[SkyGriever]

Revolutionary Road... fuck I hated that movie.

[FredEffinChopin]

Wow, I remember I took a whole lot of heat for my opinions on Scott Pilgrim on Kotaku when it came out. I didn't and don't call it a bad movie, since I haven't and won't see it. It's more like:

 

I have never been so ashamed of gamer culture- watching that movie try to clumsily lay claim to our society just pissed me off.

 

Every trailer I saw made it nauseatingly apparent that it was just full of references and terminology that was supposed to make gamers feel at home, or catered to. I tend not to like products that pretend that they know me, because they usually don't. It must be what street-racing fanatics felt when The Fast and the Furious came out. To me SPVTW was only slightly less insulting than Seth Green's "Gamer Girl" video, which he will be shot for one day if there is any justice in the world. Less insulting, because from what I understand it's actually a well done film that's quite enjoyable to people who aren't repelled by it in one way or another. Again, I can't call it bad, and it's likely I might be able to call it a good movie if forced to watch it, but there is no way I could enjoy it with those constant irritating distractions. If SPVTW were a woman who wanted to get to know me I'd have to offer the timelessly annoying "It's not you, it's me" as an excuse to keep my distance. It'd be accurate though.

 

And no, I'm not going to watch it and give it a chance. I don't need to touch my tongue to a turd to know I won't like the taste, I've seen these things before and know that they aren't for my consumption.

 

 

Anyway, the last crap film I saw was City Dragon. I found this thing in a $2 DVD bin at a 99c store a couple of years ago, and it's probably the best $2 I've ever spent. If anyone has ever seen The Room and enjoyed it, this is along those lines. A hopelessly bad film that makes you wonder if the whole thing was done in jest.... But it isn't, and that makes it even more beautiful. I don't watch it often or anything, but a friend was over recently who I thought might enjoy it, so I threw it on to show her the intro and we wound up sitting through the whole thing.

[Battra92]

Anyway, the last crap film I saw was City Dragon. I found this thing in a $2 DVD bin at a 99c store a couple of years ago

 

Methinks you're bad at math.

 

Also, I agree on Scott Pilgrim. I think what puts me off is the obsession with the film not unlike the obsession over Twilight. I mean some gamers practically are jizzing in their pants over a fucking crappy movie starring Michael Cera. I don't usually agree with the American public but I'm glad the film bombed. Had it been successful they would've made more films to cater to "gamer culture" - whatever the fuck that is.

[Faiblesse Des Sens]

So your problem isn't the movie itself but what other people think of the movie?

 

That's exactly how NOT to critique movies.

Edited February 14, 2011 by Faiblesse Des Sens

[Battra92]

So your problem isn't the movie itself but what other people think of the movie?

 

That's exactly how NOT to critique movies.

 

No, the movie looked like the same shit Hollywood makes every year. There's the old saying that 99% of everything is crap and movies are no exception. I go into every movie I see expecting it to be rubbish.

[Mr W Phallus]

So your problem isn't the movie itself but what other people think of the movie?

 

That's exactly how NOT to critique movies.

 

No, the movie looked like the same shit Hollywood makes every year. There's the old saying that 99% of everything is crap and movies are no exception. I go into every movie I see expecting it to be rubbish.

Scott pilgrim is completely unlike the typical Hollywood shit, apart from anything the direction blows any recent Hollywood film out the water. I'm guessing from your 'looked like' that you've only seen trailers?

 

Anyway, everyone who has said negative things about the film seems hung up on the fact it caters to 'gamer culture'. Not at all; the film (and the comic book) caters to people who grew up in the late 80s and 90s. A huge part of that was video-games, yes. Hell I don't know anyone my age who didn't grow up playing video-games, even people who wouldn't go anywhere near them nowadays. Maybe you're outside that age demographic, I don't know, but the film isn't just about video-games, it's about music and relationships, there are references to comics and films. Sure there's a slight 'hipster' vibe going on that might put you off, but take my sister for example. She hasn't played video-games for years, in fact I'd say she actively dislikes them, but I gave her the comics to read and she loved them, and she went to see the film and she loved it.

 

Scott pilgrim doesn't try and cater to the whole of 'gamer-culture' whatever the hell that is. It is simply a product of its time. I suppose you could say it caters for the video-game generation; if you weren't part of that I can see why you wouldn't like it but I'm getting kind of sick of people hating on it because it doesn't appeal to them. I don't like metal but I wouldn't go to Metal concerts and bitch about how bad the music is.

[Hot Heart]

That's what I don't get. I never saw Scott Pilgrim as a 'gamer culture' film (the director hadn't even played a videogame in about ten years) whereas others seemed to take it as some sort of affront. Fuck! You can't even call it about 'hipsters'. It's just a silly, highly amusing film, with some great lines. (And shame on you if you've never seen Spaced.)

 

It can certainly be off-putting if you're not willing to go with it (initially I thought it looked like some stupid videogame mash-up thing judging by what I'd seen of and heard about the comics).

 

I wonder how many people who dislike Scott Pilgrim think The Big Bang Theory is comedic genius 'Look! Nerds doing nerdy things! That's quite hilarious!'

Edited February 14, 2011 by Hot Heart

[Mister Jack]

Almost two pages of arguing over Scott Pilgrim when there are way worse movies we oughta be trashing...

[Jackpot]

Little long winded there brah. But ya I didn't like it either too hipster for me. the last crap movie I saw though would have to be Tron. Don't get me wrong the effects were awesome and made it a must watch for me, but the story was crap.

 

Same here. :/ Tron had so much potential... but it was just boring. The acting was awful, the story made no sense and did not make me the slightest bit interested. I'm not sure how long the movie was, but sitting in that theatre felt like an eternity.

[deanb]

Almost two pages of arguing over Scott Pilgrim when there are way worse movies we oughta be trashing...

 

Yeah like that thingy film...whatsiface. The one about the rich dude with a sled.

 

 

Also if you take out the pee bar, 1-up, zelda music at start it quickly loses it's gamer vibes and you can easily see it for just being a very energetic romantic comedy aimed squarely at Generation Y. Which Battra is Gen X, so I can maybe see where the dislike comes from. I'd imagine my mum ain't so keen on it either.

My sister however loves it. She's only a tidgy bit gamer (about the only game she's looking forward to this year is Portal 2, and most her steam games are bought by me apart for some Farm game). So I'm thinking it may be a Michael Cera thing for her. She's also a huge fan of the music too.

I'm a fan of the visuals myself. Very rarely do folks completely throw out the window the concept of hiding or covering up their VFX work.

[Can]

Tron's failure is the dialogue. Every actor is pretty good, it's just that the lines have nothing outstanding about them.

 

The story was average. It was a disappointment, but the music and visuals made up for it, and both were really fuckin' good. The artistic style doesn't appeal to everything, so I can't argue anything there.

 

 

I watched Scott Pilgrim on a plane once and I think it's pretty funny. I would put it in the same category as Superbad - a really funny film worth seeing at least, but I wouldn't call it a classic (FYI, just in case, Superbad is far from being a classic).

[CorgiShinobi]

I'm kinda sad to have read this thread now.

 

Tron: Legacy has a below average story, but I can not fathom any other fault other than some of the actors could have done better.

 

Scott Pilgrim did not try to be a gamer flick. If you somehow feel insulted by this movie, reevaluate your perspective of the film. It is not to be taken seriously as some commentary of a culture, rather a love story injected with high octane and flare.

[FredEffinChopin]

I'm getting kind of sick of people hating on it because it doesn't appeal to them. I don't like metal but I wouldn't go to Metal concerts and bitch about how bad the music is.

 

Isn't that a perfectly legitimate reason not to like something, because it doesn't appeal to one's taste? Also the comparison to a metal show doesn't really work, people going to a concert know what they're in for, they're seeing a band they like most of the time. You go to a movie to find out whether or not you like it. It's perfectly ok to bitch about a movie you don't like in the theater. It's even more appropriate to do it in a thread with this title. Nobody is crossing any lines.

 

I wonder how many people who dislike Scott Pilgrim think The Big Bang Theory is comedic genius 'Look! Nerds doing nerdy things! That's quite hilarious!'

 

I hate Big Bang Theory with rare passion. Not only am I totally turned off by the "nerds doing nerdy things!" aspect of it, but I don't think it's funny as a show. The success of that show is seriously one of the biggest mysteries to me.

 

Scott Pilgrim did not try to be a gamer flick. If you somehow feel insulted by this movie, reevaluate your perspective of the film. It is not to be taken seriously as some commentary of a culture, rather a love story injected with high octane and flare.

 

I don't think anyone insulted is taking it as a serious commentary. I think that in an age where anything remotely popular is a target for exploitation, people can get a bit sensitive about the way their culture is represented in entertainment. There is no reason for you take take it as a personal affront, or to tell anyone of a different mindset that they don't know how to watch movies.

 

Whenever I see a discussion like this they all have one thing in common. People who love SP are always trying to convince people who dislike it that they're wrong about their opinion. Art simply doesn't work that way. I've had many years of experience with myself, I don't see myself being argued into thinking that something I don't like is something I do or should like. That works both ways too, I wouldn't try to convince anyone that they should dislike SP because it rubs me the wrong way.

[Battra92]

I hate Big Bang Theory with rare passion. Not only am I totally turned off by the "nerds doing nerdy things!" aspect of it, but I don't think it's funny as a show. The success of that show is seriously one of the biggest mysteries to me.

 

The only saving grace of the show is Jim Parsons. I hope he breaks out of the Sheldon role as he's obviously a good physical comedian with good deadpan delivery (not unlike say a Buster Keaton.)

[Jackpot]

Cabin Fever

TERROR OF THE FLESH

 

Oooh, spooky. I just saw this movie on TV a couple of days ago. Honestly, it was the corniest low-budget movie I have ever seen in my life. The acting and the writing were absolutely ridiculous. Somehow, the movie still managed to creep me out in one scene, but it's not scary at all. Just filled with laughably fake gore.

Edited February 15, 2011 by Jackpot

[WTF]

I see crap films on a daily basis so I shouldn't comment. I've even been responsible for promoting one unfortunately. But if you want to see bad films in the UK and don't work in films all you need are Movies24, Movies4Men (they've even shown the original Inglorious Bastards which was spelt that way) and the Horror Channel. There are some atrocious old school sci-fi films including one where a guy reboots an evil robot with a cd from his discman in 2085.

[Strangelove]

Everythong on the scyfy channel is pretty bad.

[CorgiShinobi]

Whenever I see a discussion like this they all have one thing in common. People who love SP are always trying to convince people who dislike it that they're wrong about their opinion. Art simply doesn't work that way. I've had many years of experience with myself, I don't see myself being argued into thinking that something I don't like is something I do or should like. That works both ways too, I wouldn't try to convince anyone that they should dislike SP because it rubs me the wrong way.

Like when Group A dislikes Game X, and so Group B tries to examine and offer advice on how they could possible enjoy Game X more as said media offered an experience Group B would like to share? Perhaps Group A wishes to reveal the true nature of Game X, and also provide Game Y as a better alternative.

 

I would assume people trying to sway others' of their opinion a common facet when discussing... anything.

[Strangelove]

I think the problem is when people cant distinguish universally bad and just something that isnt for them.

i know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but you cant generalize things that arent specifically catered to you.

 

Everyone has a laundry list of things they just cant stand and as such if they are included they wont like the entire thing. You cant let something petty cloud your judgment.

 

 

Or maybe its just me who can see the difference. I know whats bad and i know whats bad for me.

its like anal sex. Theres nothing wrong with it, but its not for everyone and people who dont enjoy cant generalize it as being bad. Its just not your cup of tea.

Edited February 15, 2011 by Strangelove

[CorgiShinobi]

Alright, I had to revive this thread for the movie I saw tonight.

 

Grown Ups...

 

I have to rant about this because there's someone, a friend of a roommate, who drives me up the wall. She's like a bizarro variant of myself. I also find her to be a bit hypocritical. She thinks playing video games is a waste of someone's time, but I could say the same about her watching five hours of sports television.

 

Anyway, the point being she recommended the movie whilst we were scrolling through Netflix. I told everyone that it was reviewed poorly, but she convinced everyone that it was, indeed, very funny.

 

It's not like the movie didn't try to provide laughs; it's that it tried to cram a joke into every half minute, and 95% of them were either poorly executed or, well, not funny. I desperately wanted to comment during the movie, but I knew it would only make be rude. Didn't need to after half the people in the room fell asleep.

 

There was also conflict in what the hell kinda vibe the movie wanted to pull off. Was it trying to be humble and nostalgic by referring back to an adult's youth, or was it trying to show that no one is normal and every family is strange. You can very well pull those two together, but in this movie, they were like oil and water.

 

"Dang, by kids have got to be normal. Oh, hey, your wife breastfeeds your four year-old! Really though, my wife needs to let her work stop controlling her life. By the way, this Chinese woman is not our nanny and I will constantly tell her to study a book because I am trying to convince you she is really a foreign exchange student."

 

"Well, you know, we're family men now, but... What's that? Your having some family drama? Would you mind if I throw out two or three comical remarks while you guys go about resolving your issue? Oh, alright. Oh, and don't be afraid to joke about the situation too, like, when it's something that could be potentially life altering, both maritally and socially."

[Thursday Next]

I had the grave misfortune to catch the first 15-20 mins of "Meet the Spartans". I've never seen a worse film. Seriously. I was actually offended by what I saw. It was utterly devoid of a single moment of humour. It's like the film troughed and then just nailed itself to that level.

 

The celebrity look-a-likes were so terrible that every single one of them had to be introduced by name.

 

I've never been a believer in "So bad it's good." but even if I had been, this film goes all the way past "so bad it's good" and deep into "So bad that you want to kill everyone who was involved in the creation of it and the people who went to see it in the cinema thus encouraging more of this bilge."

 

This film was unrelentingly awful. It should be banned by the Geneva convention and Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer should be tried in the Hague. If Gaddafi is captured by the rebels and they are looking for a way to torture him, I think it would be kinder to water board him than to make him watch this film for even 30 seconds.

 

I'm going to have to watch Shawshank and the Big Lebowski simultaneously on repeat for a week just to counteract the incredible badness of this film.

 

I could actually feel the IQ points sloughing away from my brain as the film progressed. Had I watched it for one minute longer I would probably have lacked the intelligence to identify the TV remote and been reduced to a vegetable, fortunately, I was able to change the channel in time.

 

I've been weaning myself back on to visual media by watching the Teletubbies, by the end of the month I'm hoping that I will be able to understand the story line of Hollyoaks and in a year I should be fully rehabilitated.

[Thorgi Duke of Frisbee]

First, I want to chime in and say that I love Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Don't tell me the "Vegan Police" bit didn't even get a chuckle out of you!

 

Second, the last crap movie I saw was Fired Up. I'm pretty sure none of my floormates have any taste in movies, because they loved it. It was absolutely pants-on-head retarded, and it didn't get a single snort out of me.