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Last Crap Movie You Saw


Yantelope
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I only went to this because my mother wanted to see it, and this is a woman who rarely ever goes to a theater. It's a kid's flick, but even then there are really good films geared towards a very young generation.

 

I'll make this quick, but it was stupid. It wasn't the worst thing I've seen, but it was everything about the scripting, dialogue, and characters that made it not very good. They never explain why "EB" doesn't want to be the Easter Bunny, other than, "I wanna be a drumma, pop!" Then you have a grown-ass, unemployed, lazy, and slightly mental man secretly obsessed with the Easter Bunny.

 

The ending is:

 

A man and a rabbit receive a magical civil union and ride off Easter morning in an Easter egg sleigh pulled by a hundred yellow chicks.

 

Edited by Atomsk88
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Too many crap movies to list. I honestly have to watch crap movies and sometimes have to tell them that it was uh okay. Some people have absolutely no talent in making a script come to life. Be fortunate you don't have to see a lot of shitty movies :)

The last crap movie I've seen was a Spanish movie that's not release for public consumption yet. Can't say what it is (NDA) but jeez.... I really hope they re-edit it or reshoot some of the stuff since it's not locked yet.

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Mr Plinkett's reviews almost justify the existence of the prequels. It's not often that the review makes a better movie than the movie it's reviewing.

 

Seriously! It's like a 'How Not To' guide for writing and directing. :lol:

 

I can still see that horrible 'It's like poetry, it rhymes' and then that face he pulls when he says 'Hopefully it'll work'.

 

His analysis of everything Qui-Gon says reminded me of this too.

 

Although, credit where credit's due. Those negotiations were short.

Edited by Hot Heart
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  • 1 month later...

Priest. Oh, good Lord, was that a bad movie. How do you kill vampires, Paul Bettany? There's Point A, and then there's Point B, and your job is to get from Point A to Point B. Thanks a lot, Paul, I'll remember that when I'm getting my face gnawed the fuck off from your bullshit advice!

 

He opens the bible during a fight. Guess what passage he decides to read? Just guess. It's easy, I promise. Time's up! "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil..." Way to go for the obscure, Screen Gems!

 

The main city is such a blatant rip-off of Blade Runner that it isn't even funny. The dialog hits new levels of stupid every five minutes. And Karl Urban as a vampire cowboy never failed to throw me into fits of laughter.

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Seems Priest has had some big marketing push, but no one is aware of the director and star's previous sort of similar collaboration http://www.metacritic.com/movie/legion

WHAAAT? The same people made that?

 

Okay, I'm done seeing anything slightly religous with Paul Bettany in it.

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The new Pirates of the Carribbean movie is fucking garbage. It's like a never-ending contest to chew the most scenery. Also, they made the Spanish captain dress like Prince, for whatever reason. It's a shame, because I kind of like some of the actors in it (Jason Statham's partner in Snatch, the snarling British villain from V for Vendetta and Speed Racer), but everyone was universally awful. Not to mention that the plot is entirely moved forward through horrible expository dialog.

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It looks like good fun, like the others, but not great, like the other sequels.

 

I think the last crap film I saw was still Sucker Punch. Sucked balls.

 

But not just balls. Many different types of balls. Stupid actor's balls? Yep. Inappropriately placed music balls? Often. Bad storytelling balls? Slurpily. "Could have been good" balls? All the time.

 

 

On Scott Pilgrim: I still don't think hating on the videogame references is a good enough reason to dislike the movie. They're totally take-it-or-leave-it. It's a strong film if you remove them. My girlfriend didn't get, or care for any of the videogame references. She doesn't like games that much. But she loved Scott Pilgrim, and the script/ ridiculous slapstick fights were strong enough for her to really enjoy it. The whole thing is that- slapstick comedy, basically. It doesn't matter about context, or if the fights had no basis or explanation in the reality-context; take them on their own, as they are, and they're funny. Or at least, from the majority of opinions I've heard, they're funny.

 

Also, even if you didn't like it- read the comics. Muuuch more down to Earth, witty, well paced, and contextual. I loved the film- though it's definitely not for everyone- but the comics I WOULD recommend for everyone. It's just lovingly written and drawn. All those in-jokes you found tiresome in the movie, 62? In the comic they're built-up and developed with comic mastery. The plot is much better paced and developed, it makes more sense, it's all just better. I still recommend it. Hopefully the movie hasn't put you off that much.

 

No idea why I just rekindled that argument.

Edited by kenshi_ryden
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Yeah, I think it's more just that as just a movie and nothing more Scott Pilgrim is a very abrasive mashup of pop culture references. As fan service I'm told it's awesome though.

The odd thing is, I went into Scott Pilgrim begrudgingly, because I thought it would be nothing but pop culture references, but ended up liking everything else about it.

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My suspicions were proven last night; The Hangover Part 2 is not a good movie. It hit the exact same beats as the first movie. Worse yet, most of the proceedings were unbelievably dull. There's no tension, because you already saw this movie once and know exactly how it will end. Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper would be the worst parts of the movie if they didn't think of including Paul Giamatti. Even Zack Galifinakis begins to wear on you before the movie is even close to over. Part II falls into a similar mistake the first movie made; they often rely on Galifinakis to carry the entire show. It worked for the first because we were unaware of just how insane that character was, and the supporting cast did a decent job playing off his antics. Neither of those apply here, and the resulting film is a shallow mess that had me ready to leave 30 minutes in. The only person I consistently enjoyed in the movie was Kim Jeong, reprising his role as Ciao.

 

To recap, The Hangover: Part II goes through the same motions as the first movie, with almost none of the spirit and originality that made the first movie so fun to watch.

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I think comedy is one of the only genres in film where bigger DOESNT equal better. You cant repeat yourself, even if you think you came up with a funnier version of the same joke. People dont like that. I personally dont. I like hearing new jokes that are as funny or funnier than the last I heard.

 

Just cus it works in Ironman and Transformers doesnt mean itll work here.

But I havent seen Hangover part 2 yet, I felt like I knew this was going to happen. Ill download it once it hits piratebay to check it out.

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Im convinced Galifinakis knew how bad this movie was going to be, but he did it anyways. The dude is hilarious and has good judgement when it relates to gross, surreal or witty comedy.

 

Isnt it weird when you see a bad movie and KNOW that some of the actors knew how bad it was from the getgo?

 

 

Ewan McGregor had to have read the script for Attack of The Clones and thought it sucked. No way can someone like him read that shit and want to star in it in complete excitement.

But I think very few of us would deny to be in a Star Wars film. I wouldnt turn it down.

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