Last OK Movie You Saw

[CorgiShinobi]

The Wolverine

 

Rather than going over what it does good, most of its faults come from keeping with the established X-Men films for some sense of continuity. Even with that dragging it down, it keeps Wolverine's Japanese travels on roughly a similar path. Female villian was annoying and was begging for a painful death. Love interest was absolutely hot, but then again I have a thing for Asian women (so sue me).

 

One would think there weren't that many disposable Yakuza henchmen in Japan, but that bullet train showdown was worth it.

[Hot Heart]

Superman Returns.

 

Never been a big fan of Superman anyway, but my curiosity was piqued thanks to Man of Steel doing things very differently. As intended, this feels like a 'classic' Superman film where most of the action is him saving people. Problem is, as I found with the X-Men films, something is just 'off' in the balance. In this, it's clearly the villains ("Krrrrryptonite!") who are either too goofy or have a stupid plan, which just clashes with the more serious or melancholy tone to the rest of the film (good job they kept them apart for nearly the entire runtime). Create more land...but kill billions (according to Kitty the exposition-fuelling comedy sidekick) in the process, thus reducing the demand by a significant amount (certainly no progress will be made in Lex's lifetime)? Also, how's he going to control it with three goons? Also, why does his map of it already show clearly-defined statelines?

 

And the more serious parts of the story are just kinda underdeveloped. Superman feels alienated (BRYAN SINGER'S DUMB MOVIEGOER APPROACH TO SUBTEXT: it's on the scrabbleboard when he crash lands), but really it's just because he loves Lois (d'awww). And Lois writes some interesting Pulitzer Prize-winning article, which is never actually expanded upon (would've made a decent story in itself, I think) and was really just her missing Superman.

 

Also, it's too fucking long and isn't helped by Singer taking forever with nearly all the mundane action sequences (nicking a meteorite, Superman might drown!). That said, I think Brandon Routh made for a good Superman and there are some cool shots in there and, as already mentioned, it captures the spirit intended.

[Waldorf and Statler]

Elysium

 

 

The sci fi and action were lacking. The political commentary was force fed. District 9 had a nice message to it imho, but to me this one was just as bad as it gets. The ending too came out of fucking left field for some healthcare and immigration commentary. Matt Damon must've had a part with this because it was as bad as the oil movie he made.

 

Jesus. It would have been a decent movie maybe even get a 7/10. Kruger was the best part. I gave it a 6/10 and that's being generous as the writing is crap, and the magical unicorn-fart cure everything machine was funny at first but then it became Plot Device [tm]

[Waldorf and Statler]

wasn't sure where to put this but decided with here. Kickass 2. Enjoyable, lots of laughs and good action but the mean girls stuff was unnecessary. Turk was the best character.

 

Also surprised nobody called out the friend on the super huge dick move.

[Mister Jack]

Kick Ass 2, although it leans closer to good than bad with me.  Like Waldorf said, the subplot with Mindy didn't really need to be in the movie for what they were trying to do with the character, but at least it isn't boring to watch. 

 

 

I didn't really care for how Dave's girlfriend shows up in the movie for literally one minute to tell him that she's cheating on him and then disappears forever to make room for new love interests. Night Bitch wasn't really a character so much as someone for Kick Ass to fuck. I also don't know how I feel about Hit Girl becoming his love interest at the very end.

They toned down The Motherfucker considerably in the movie so that he's more of a goofy, spoiled rich brat than the complete psychopath he is in the comic. In the comic he shoots a bunch of little kids just because he can, rapes a girl, and decapitates the Colonel's dog. He does none of those things in the film, although he did try to rape someone but couldn't get it up. Whether turning him into a comedic character makes him a better or worse villain is up to personal opinion, I suppose. I can take him either way.

 

 

Even though the movie is about Kick Ass and Hit Girl and how they struggle to deal with their new lives, I feel like the highlight of the film is Jim Carrey's character, Captain Stars and Stripes.  He's interesting, memorable, likeable, and actually pretty badass.  Kind of a shame Jim did such a complete 180 on the film after Sandy Hook, though.  Don't get me wrong, Sandy Hook was terrible, but a movie is just a movie.  Oh well.

 

So yeah, there are some pacing issues and the writing and action scenes aren't quite as good as the original, but it still entertained me throughout.

[Hot Heart]

The A-Team

 

Was on TV and I was feeling lazy so I gave it a watch. Does a decent enough job of updating the premise, and Sharlto Copley is pretty amusing; can't really expect more from it. It does get pretty ridiculous at points (tank 'flying'), but that doesn't really detract from it overall. Funny that it came out the same summer as The Losers, with both films sharing certain similarities in their source material, so it's another one of those weird doubles.

[Hot Heart]

Elysium.

 

A fairly by-the-numbers blockbuster with a bit of Blomkamp flavour, i.e. gritty sci-fi with ridiculously powerful and gory weapons. People will explode. I really disliked the crap and unnecessary 'chosen one' trope (District 9's Wikus was a relatively ordinary guy) and associated half-assed, blunt symbolism. Jodie Foster was pretty terrible (that accent!) and I didn't buy Matt Damon as the downtrodden man (he just looked a little peeved at times) but everyone else was pretty good, even with some dreadful lines.

 

So, it has some interesting elements and some entertaining moments, but doesn't particularly do anything outstanding. Barely scrapes above 'crap', if I'm honest.

[danielpholt]

Frankenweenie.

 

There's a charming little film in here somewhere. Unforately, the film decides it needs to pad its runtime, and so we get a somewhat boring 81 minute caper with a side plot that frankly, i didn't care about. That being said, the Sparky/Boy stuff was touching and well put together. And the film is a technical marvel, with some very nice voice acting. 

 

I'll give this film a second chance at some point, but it's left me a little underwhelmed. 

 

Man i wish this film was 45 minutes long.

 

2/5

[Waldorf and Statler]

If you want a much better film was ParaNorman. From the guys that made Coraline.

[Mister Jack]

I cannot express enough how great ParaNorman is.

[TheRevanchist]

Finally saw Identity Thief.  Better than I thought.  Melissa McCarthy is hilarious as usual, but the plot line was just weak and felt like it was just put together for an excuse to showcase McCarthy's talents.  Probably was.

[TCP]

Pacific Rim.

 

Opening 10 minutes: "omg! cool!"
45 minute in: "ok.. hasn't gotten any cooler"

Final 20 minutes: "so what's new on twitter...."

[Hot Heart]

The Blue Dahlia (yes, blue!)

 

Another one of the boxset noirs. Was a little disappointed with this one, even though it was written by Raymond Chandler. Though I hear he struggled with finishing the screenplay and turned to booze. There are decent performances and some sharp Chandler dialogue and scenarios and it's not exactly terrible, but the story meanders all over the place and feels a little disjointed. It seems obvious who the murderer is (and was originally written to be before it was changed) so when the denouement plays a switch it feels a little forced and silly.

 

Also, there was a character referred to as 'Dad' despite bearing no paternal relationship to any of the characters, which really messed with my poor flu-addled brain.

[Mister Jack]

The Conjuring

 

I watched this because it had gotten a lot of good buzz from viewers and critics when it came out, so I figured maybe it would do something to shake up the whole haunted house/exorcism movie formula.  It does not.  It shamelessly plays off of every ghost cliche it possibly can, and even though other people seem to think this movie is scary or creepy I couldn't even force myself to be invested in this because it never took me by surprise even once.  I also feel like the actual ghost/evil spirit in the film is really unimaginative and lazy whenever you actually see it, particularly in the makeup department.  It just plain wasn't scary.

 

I would almost put this in the crap movies thread but I only really do that with films I despise, and this one I couldn't be bothered to care about one way or the other.  It's just two hours of nondescript beige tinted who-gives-a-shit.

[TheMightyEthan]

I think part of a reason a lot of people liked it (myself included) is that it's a return to an older style of horror movie that we haven't seen much of in recent years/decades.

 

*Edit* - And I'm pretty sure basically everything I've read about it admits that it's cliche as hell, it's just very well executed.

Edited October 13, 2013 by TheMightyEthan

[NeoStarr]

 

Pretty graphic movie about a serial killer; shot 90% in first person perspective.

 

It was alright, but the whole time I couldn't help but think "Man, I could be crazier then this..."

 

Is that weird?

[TCP]

Kickass 2. It's like they forgot what made the first movie so great.

Pacific Rim. Started off "omg omg omg" but never got any better. Went on too long. Nice seeing Charlie from IASIP and Owen from Torchwood together though.

[Chewblaha]

White people love will smith.

i cant stand the guy. I cant even say hes ever been in a truly great movie.

fact.

 

Ali.

[Strangelove]

Biographical films are typically cheap Oscar bait. Any decent actor can elevate themselves to award winning A listers by doing a decently written biography. Shit, Reese Witherspoon won an Oscar for being in Walk The Line. Ridiculous.

[Thursday Next]

I'm white. I find Will Smith's ability to play himself in every single movie he's ever appeared in to be deeply unimpressive. My apathy for him is matched only by my bewilderment at his level of success.

[TheMightyEthan]

As a kid I liked Independence Day a lot (still do cause it's awesome).  That's about the best I can say about Will Smith.

[Thursday Next]

Will smith's character in that is pretty disposable. Anyone could have played taxi driver for Jeff.

[Mister Jack]

I'm white. I find Will Smith's ability to play himself in every single movie he's ever appeared in to be deeply unimpressive. My apathy for him is matched only by my bewilderment at his level of success.

 

He's successful because white people like him because he's a non-threatening black man but he's just black enough to make white people feel blacker by watching his movies.

 

I still kinda like him, though.  I mean there are way worse actors out there.

[Hot Heart]

I think he's decent in certain films, but many are just 'be Will Smith'. I mean he's charming and all, but it can get grating. He's not exactly Cary Grant.

[staySICK]

Finally saw World War Z.  It wasn't too terrible, I actually liked the zombies, the bit where they were basically like a fluid when in a horde was neat.