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Last OK Movie You Saw


Mister Jack
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Came back online simply to rant about this movie: Tales from Earthsea

 

Ugh, I really expected more out of a Studo Ghibli film. Supposedly this movie doesn't even follow the book series it was based on, remotely.

 

First off, context!

 

Yep. It's pretty shit, I'd put this in the Terrible pile. Felt like a 'nothing' movie. In concept and execution it's thin as 2% milk. I'm about to rant a little. Re: The novels:

 

The first novel, Wizard of Earthsea is one of my favourite books; and it sets scene impeccably, unlike the movie. It's really great.

 

The context of the whole thing is: 'magic' is simply speaking the 'true name' of something, which commands its true spirit. Practically identical to Skyrim's 'Dragon breath and shouts are actually an ancient language'. In Earthsea, at the start of time everything was called by its true name, and Dragon's spoke the original true language, so could command everything. Over time, with the advent of man, (or something, this is all IIRC) fake names and pseudonyms became prevalent, and the dragons have been killed off, so the magic of truenames, or soulnames dies out. At the later point in history where the stories begin, people only speak in this 'fake name' pseudo-speak, so the true spirit of things aren't affected at all. People don't know things have 'true names' (and everything has a true name). Magic is what Sparrowhawk (who's in Tales of Earthsea, but is the main character of the novels (the eponymous Wizard of Earthsea), and his true name is Ged) learns from the start of the first book, beginning by commanding goats by their true race name etc., and he goes to a distant college etc. It's all great stuff. Captures your mind as a kid. magic is combining the true words for anything; individuals, species, races, elements, forces.

 

The film tells you none of this, and goes on to tell a pretty shit story in a pretty bad way. May make this rant in the 'bad' thread. It's also the first and only Ghibli movie that didn't have Hayao in charge. It had his son, whatever he's call. Big fail imho. That's why it's not good, and your expectations were ruined Atomski!

 

On topic: In Bruges.

 

Sure isn't bad, but it's first half is really poor. I felt it had a really, really weak first half which set up a really, really strong second half. The first half is unfunny, gratuitously crass, and has pretty shit pacing (it's trying to be funny and quirky). The music is also inappropriate all the way through, till the more solemn parts later.

 

Buuuut the second half pushes into quality drama that felt like it should have started sooner, and turns all the over-the-top lame trying-to-be-funny stuff from the first half into genuinely pretty good in-jokes. The music also feels more fitting. Is suddenly pretty great. The plot's also pretty holey, start-to-finish, but most films are much worse.

Edited by kenshi_ryden
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Hmm, it's been a while since I've seen it but I can't say the first half of In Bruges bothered me. I mean, it conveyed the tone and mood anyway and Brendan Gleeson is always fantastic. It does get a little ridiculous and you can kinda guess how silly the ending is going to be but it's still very entertaining.

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Yeah Gleeson was indeed spot-on. Reading my post back my main issue was with Farrel and the music (in the first half at least). I felt the first half was more ridiculous than the second, or the ending. Farrel would always be cracking some awful disabled or racist joke while some really serious and moody piano music would be playing in the background. And jokes or funny moments always tapered off into the grey-area non-laughs. And a lot of the situations in it seemed painfully contrived; for example the whole love interest with the random girl on the random set of a random movie, who gets no character development at all (or rather, entirely ambiguous and forced character development) really pissed me off.

 

But really, I can't say I disliked it. At first I was nagging my parents to turn that shit off (slipping right back into angsty teenager mode after living away for a good while), but by the halfway mark I couldn't say no to the rest of it. Also the theme of suicide was pretty excellent. It developed well thematically, I think.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Gentlemen Broncos. A little-known Jared Hess film (Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre).

 

Really, this is right on the edge of bad. It's almost like he made Napoleon Dynamite again but with almost no charm. I mean, I didn't like Napoleon Dynamite that much on my first viewing but something drew me back.

The bits with Jemaine Clement and an incredibly silly, posh-sounding English accent are good, and there are some good moments with Jennifer Coolidge and Mike White, but Sam Rockwell pretty much goes to waste. The main character's crappy novel plays out in (purposefully low production value) segments throughout the film but they fail to reach any comedic highs in a way something like Garth Marenghi's Darkplace did.

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Battle LA

 

Pretty by the numbers film. The fact that at the start of the film we managed to pick up on nearly everyone that would die didn't help. Even a few we even managed to guess how they'd die. Oh that guy, he's nervous, young, he's going to die doing a valiant sacrifice to prove his worth. Ben made a good point that it kinda blew that there was practically zero coverage of civilians, you pretty much follow the army squad from start to finish.

 

Good effects, not exactly a terrible film, just a bit dull and predictable.

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Beauty and The Beast

 

I've not seen it for a while, it's good classic Disney n all that, but it is a tad rough. The pacing of the film is way too fast, The Beast pretty much goes from "WHY DID YOU COME HERE!!!" to "I wuv you Belle" within a few scenes. The animation is a tad rusty too, but Disney has never really been of top form in animation, always generally middling between the cheapness of TV cartoons and the top quality of stuff like Ghibli. It does have some classic songs though such as Tale as Old as Time and Kill the Beast n all that. Be nice to see the Disney musicals come back.

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For its time, B&TB was incredible in that it furthered Disney's rise out of mediocrity. As far as current Disney musicals, there was Princess & the Frog a couple years back and Tangled a bit more recently. It is funny though to watch those older ones and note some of the corners they cut in animation, as great as the films were.

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Saw Mr. Popper's Penguins last night and I'd like to say that the plot "divorced man gets new job/pet/other thing and reunites family" is getting really really old. It's catching up to the romantic comedy as the most predictable plot of all.

 

http://www.chud.com/57251/proof-that-hollywood-has-stopped-trying/

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I also watched Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

 

Now the cast says it should be in Good Movie. And the cast chosen was great, cream of the british crop (though I must say Trigger n Perry threw me a bit, but it worked well). The issue was the fucking story. I tried to follow along, but I hadn't a clue. And suddenly there's dead teachers killing King George VI and I'm like WTF happened in the preceding 2 hours for this to happen?

 

So yes, great cast, terribly told story. The spy names didn't really help.

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  • 2 months later...

Watched The Punisher on Netflix last night. I laughed when I saw John Pinette in there. It wasn't horrible and it was pretty funny in a terrible way in a lot of places but the whole thing felt like a B movie. Best part of the movie though:

 

in-soviet-russia-waldo-soviet-russia-finds-you-punisher-kevi-demotivational-poster-1251426472.jpg

Edited by Yantelope V2
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