Mister Jack

Keith David has a voice like melting butter.

Rick and Morty finale! I liked this one! Not as much as the citadel episode but it was a big step up from the Beth episode that preceded it.

I beat Cuphead. Took me around six and a half hours. The tutorial took up five of them. In all seriousness, it actually is a pretty hard game. If you played perfectly with absolutely no deaths then you could probably get through its content in maybe two hours. However, the much more likely scenario is that you're going to die a lot and spend a lot of time perfecting your skills and learning how to outmaneuver the bosses. It's still kind of short, but I can see myself going back to this one again and again whenever the mood for some run and gun hits me. Plus, beating it unlocks an expert difficulty, which I'm sure will kick my ass for twice as long. At the moment this game is the number one seller on steam, which I'm glad to see because it really is a labor of love and it deserves to succeed. I couldn't help thinking that the recent controversy with Dean Takahashi probably contributed to the game's current popularity. Ever since that embarrassing video came out everyone's talking about Cuphead, and I bet at least a few people out there bought it just to show him up. Take note, indie developers. If you want free publicity for your game, offer a live demo to the worst game journalist you can possibly find and then make sure he uploads it to youtube.

You ARE supposed to like the main characters in a tv show, though. Even if they're bad people, you're at least supposed to be invested enough in them that you want to watch their antics. If you don't care about the characters, the whole show falls apart. I have watched It's Always Sunny, and I actually do like those characters. Not because I'd ever want to hang out with them or anything, but because their scams amuse me. Plus, their plans usually fall apart by the end, at least in all the episodes I've seen, and that's an important distinction. I like seeing just how much they can screw up.

That is EXACTLY the game I'm pissed off about with this right now.

So...Rick and Morty. I think I hated this episode. It's becoming increasingly harder to like these people.

I really hate single player games, usually open-world ones, that still require you to sign in to some bullcrap online component every time you boot the game up. Even if you want to play offline, sometimes it'll try to sign in automatically without even asking you. Stop it! I don't care about your god damn stat tracking! I just want to play the game and you're wasting my fucking time! It's even worse if the game is new and the servers are being slammed. Then you have to sit through all that just to get an error message.

Was Paddington good? I didn't watch it because I just assumed it would be awful like all these CGI movies about beloved childhood characters usually are. It would be nice if there was an exception.

The worst part is that for the first few seconds it actually looks interesting, like Babe or something, but then they had to go and Sony things up.

Sigh...

LIKE I GIVE A FUCK

Bethesda will find a way to port Doom to pedometers if it means you'll buy it again.

Mild spoilers for the new episode, but an amusing edit.

Pictured: A pair of radical Muslim extremists

Well this sucks. I downloaded Pocket Mortys on my ipod and the battery gets drained from fully charged to <20% in a grand total of eight minutes. I've had it for a while so I figure okay, the battery probably needs to be replaced after 3+ years. Nobody around here does battery replacements! Nobody! And Apple charges 80 bucks for a battery replacement! I thought "okay, I'll buy a battery and do the fix myself. How hard could it be?" I watched a video on it and replacing a battery on these fuckers is like doing brain surgery. The chances of me screwing it up and permanently bricking the thing are just too high for me to be comfortable with doing it myself. It pisses me off just how brazen Apple is about intentionally designing their products to make repairs as obtuse as possible so you have almost no choice but to go to them directly. I don't feel inclined to pay 80 dollars, so I'll just download Pocket Mortys on my tablet instead and use the ipod strictly for music. I can still get a few hours of listening time out of it per charge so whatever.

What's wrong with the fingerprint sensor? I don't want to have to hold the phone in front of my face every time I want to unlock it.

Okay so this was almost definitely not done by the actual Ted Cruz but it still makes for an amusing story.

It Having read the book and also seen the original tv movies, this remake might actually be the strongest version of the story. Full disclosure: I don't get scared by scary movies, so I really can't judge it by that criteria. Is it scary? I mean, it's just a movie. All horror films are just movies. If that's what you're wondering, I'm not the guy to ask. However, I think it was really good with atmosphere, characterization, and especially the acting. I don't think any of these child actors are already famous (I could be wrong), but I see big things in their future because they hit it out of the park with their performances. Bill Skarsgard also does a commendable job as Pennywise. You can tell he's doing his best to distinguish himself from Tim Curry and for the most part I think it works. He gives off this creepy child predator vibe that Curry's performance, as much as I love him, didn't really have. I do have a few niggling criticisms. Several of the "scare" scenes play out independently of each other and are just kind of spliced together, so it feels at times like a series of unrelated vignettes than a cohesive whole. The book was kind of like this too at parts, so it's probably unavoidable without making a complete departure from the book's plot. There's also some conspicuous CG here and there. I don't think it ever looks that bad, but some effects are clearly better than others. A few parts that were probably meant to be scary also made me laugh instead but hey, at least I'm being entertained. Like I said, scary movies don't scare me so as long as I'm enjoying myself that's good enough for me. The easiest way for me to recommend this is to ask the following: Did you like Stranger Things? If you did, you'll probably enjoy this remake.

Have you not watched the rest of it yet or did you not like 8-12 for some reason? Because I thought the last few episodes of Bojack were incredible.

I know I've had my reservations about season 3 of Rick and Morty, but that last episode was easily the best one so far. No bullshit drama with Beth, Jerry, or Summer. In fact, no Beth, Jerry, or Summer at all. Just RICK AND MORTY A HUNDRED YEARS RICK AND MORTY FOREVER AND EVER A HUNDRED TIMES RICK AND MORTY!

Didn't they already make cosmetic skins a consumable item instead of a permanent one?

How long is "extended periods?"

I just finished binging on season 4 of Bojack Horseman. Still my favorite Netflix show, and one of my favorite shows currently airing on tv period. Also still the show with the most realistic portrayal of depression, despite being a show about talking animal people.