Mister Jack

Oh boy, here we go. Ancient Gods Part One was like getting gangbanged by spiked dildos. I can only imagine the pain they have in store for Part Two.

The Last Guardian I never played this on the PS4 because I heard it had technical issues, but it's part of the PS Plus Collection on PS5 so I figured by now the performance problems should be a non-issue on the new hardware. The good news is that the game performs just fine on the PS5. The bad news is that it's locked to 30 FPS. Oh well. As far as the game's quality goes, the most impressive thing about it by far is Trico himself, and rightfully so. He moves, acts, and feels like a real animal and the animators obviously spent a lot of time studying real life animals to get the movements and behaviors down just right. Despite how huge Trico is, I never had any immersion breaking moments where he gets stuck on a wall or anything else like that. Whenever he was in motion it always felt totally natural, which is an impressive accomplishment. Trico has a ton of personality and it's very easy to get attached to him (I'm just assuming Trico is male). He helps you solve puzzles and reach higher platforms, defends you from enemies, and can even save you from falling now and then. The bond you forge with this animal feels real and I grew to legitimately love the big guy. Of course, the fact that Trico acts like a real animal and not an AI can also be a bad thing sometimes. Your ability to progress depends completely on Trico listening to your commands. Sometimes he understands what you want him to do right away and sometimes you just want to whap him with a rolled-up newspaper until he gets it through his thick head. I don't know if this was intentional or not but it is a serious problem that leads to frustration fairly often. It especially doesn't help when the puzzle solutions can be pretty cryptic and the in-game hint system is rarely helpful. For example, one puzzle required me to tell Trico to stick his head through a hole so I could use him as a platform to get higher up. I had been playing for about 10 hours at this point and this was something Trico had never done before, nor had the game indicated to me that this was a thing he even COULD do. Even when you know what to do, you might fool yourself into thinking you don't because if Trico doesn't listen to you it's easy to believe you're on the wrong track. I ended up just keeping a walkthrough open on my phone after a while. Unfortunately, the controls are also bad. Anyone who has played a Team Ico game knows that they tend to have awkward, delayed controls. The Last Guardian is no exception. It's the kind of bad you can get used to but it's still bad. I hate using triangle to jump, too. I hate that I can't change it and I really hate that the tutorial pop-ups can't be disabled either, especially because they'll be popping up and reminding you how to climb things all the way to the end of the damn game. This might just be me, but I'm also not fond of how much of the story is left as a mystery. Why was the boy taken? What are those markings on his skin? Who or what is the villain and what exactly is their goal? None of this is ever explained. I know that for a lot of people it's about the journey and not the destination, but I say that's a J.J. Abrams-tier excuse. So yeah, this game is a mixed bag. I don't want to say it's just average because what they accomplished with Trico as a character is really impressive and deserves to be experienced. Just know you'll be having to put up with some bullshit along the way. I liked it and I'm glad I played it but I won't be going for the platinum, especially when this game is pretty stingy with its trophies. I made it all the way to the end with only four trophies to show for it and one of them was because I accidentally spied on Trico taking a dump once.

I don't doubt that the joycons aren't as advanced but I remember playing 1-2-Switch at a friend's place back when the Switch first launched and being amazed that they were able to accurately simulate the feeling of metal balls rolling around and knocking against each other so the joycons are definitely capable of more than what they've been doing. I mean, you would think Breath of the Wild of all games would be eager to take full advantage of it but nope.

Astro's Playroom This game is adorable as hell. In fact, I might go as far as to call it the best console pack-in game since Super Mario World. This game does a great job showing off the really cool things that the Dualsense can do. It really does feel like a next-gen experience. It also makes great use of the PS5's hint video feature for collectibles and the levels themselves are chock full of downright charming easter eggs and shout outs to everything in Playstation history from God of War to Vib-Ribbon of all things. Anyone else remember Vib-Ribbon? There's all kinds of super fun and creative gimmicks in each world that makes them all feel unique. If Sony made a full-length version of this game it could be good enough to compete with some of the modern 3D Mario titles. The gameplay is really on point with Astro Bot. The only thing it doesn't have that Mario does is iconic characters with decades of history. On a side note, the Dualsense controller is so cool that it makes me annoyed that Nintendo has practically forgotten that HD rumble even exists in the joycons. Why even include it and charge extra money for it if you're not going to use it for anything? I didn't own an Xbone but I've heard from others that it barely got any use out of the adaptive triggers in its controller too. If there's one thing you can't accuse Sony of doing it's not taking advantage of the controller features in their first party games. If anything they might be too eager to use them sometimes.

Maneater That game where you play a killer shark. Claimed it on PS+ last month and figured I'd give it a whirl. It's okay, but repetition sets in after a while. You play as a shark so all you can really do is swim around and bite things. They try to give you some variety by letting you evolve special skills like a poison bite, but it's still pretty basic. Not too bad in short bursts, though. A pretty easy platinum too.

Tom and Jerry I wasn't quite sure which thread to put this in because this is basically two different movies. One of them is an enjoyable Tom and Jerry cartoon and the other is an unbearable live action movie about a bunch of human characters I don't give two shits about. I decided to split the difference and say it's just okay. The main plot where the protagonist girl is trying to fudge her way through a job interview at a hotel by planning a big wedding is the kind of cliched bullshit you've seen in a hundred other comedies and the only human character I enjoyed was the hotel manager because he treats Tom more like an employee than an animal and I thought that was cute. Aside from that, every human character was either boring or a cartoonish buffoon, and having humans act like cartoon characters in a movie that already has cartoon characters is a pet peeve of mine. Let the toons act like toons. That's what they're there for! Every scene that didn't have Tom or Jerry in it just felt like wasted time to me. On the other hand, while I hated all the human stuff, when the movie WAS about Tom and Jerry it could actually be kinda fun. Sometimes the animation is a bit hit or miss but when it looks good it looks really good. Every animal in this movie is a cartoon, which I thought was a nice touch, and the animators did a good job making it feel like they were really there. Making a cartoon character convincingly interact with a real life object or person is a very difficult thing to accomplish but they pulled it off. When Tom and Jerry trash that hotel it feels like they're actually trashing it so on that technical achievement alone I'm glad I watched this. The writer also clearly understood why people like Tom and Jerry as characters because this movie gave them a ton of personality and, more importantly, they do not talk. Would I recommend it to Tom and Jerry fans? Well, if you already have HBO Max I guess you really have nothing to lose. If not, maybe just watch the Tom and Jerry parts on Youtube sometime and skip the rest.

I don't really care as much about shiny new textures for Bloodborne as I do a 60 FPS framerate. The performance is the only serious knock I have against Bloodborne since it could dip pretty badly at times. I don't think Sony is gonna give us that for free, though.

Okay, maybe not a remake, but definitely a remaster.

They need to fix this ASAP. I only realized this morning that I have Nioh 2 installed twice and the PS5 upgrade isn't a 4K texture pack and some system files or something. Now that I transferred my save I have no reason to keep the PS4 version, but it's gonna be a real pain if it tries to install it every time I put the disc in.

I'd bet they're more likely to do a Bloodborne remake. It will cost $70 and damn it, I'm gonna buy it anyway.

"But didn't you hate Demon's Souls?" Yeah, I hated the PS3 one when I beat it, but since then I have beaten Dark Souls 1, 2, and 3 while also managing to platinum Bloodborne, Sekiro, and both Nioh games. My skill level is definitely higher than where it was and, more importantly, I hear the remake adds some very much needed quality of life improvements that make it much less frustrating to play so I'm willing to give Demon's Souls one more chance. I bought it used so if I still hate it I can always take it back.

I realize there are probably only two people here who fit this criteria but has anyone with both a PS5 and a PSVR tried playing a game that uses the Move controllers? I don't know if I'm imagining it but I tried out Skyrim for a few minutes just to make sure everything was functioning as it should be and I swear it felt like the tracking was better on the PS5 even though it was using the same camera and controllers. I don't know if the extra power in the console actually gives it a boost somehow or if I'm just experiencing a placebo effect because I have a shiny new console. I should mention I did not have a PS4 Pro before getting the PS5. I was still using the regular model.

My PS5 came today. I'm really digging it so far and I love the controller but I fucked myself over. I plan on selling my PS4 tomorrow so I reset it back to factory settings and then hooked up my PS5 to play some Nioh 2 Remastered. Little did I realize that despite uploading my save to the cloud through the PS4, it doesn't actually work unless you upload your character save through the in-game option instead. So I lost almost 200 hours worth of progress. I suppose I could technically unhook everything, move the furniture again, hook the PS4 back up, re-add my account to it, reinstall Nioh 2 and the DLC, download my save, upload it, then reset the PS4 again, unhook it, and hook the PS5 back up, but all my consoles are inside of an enclosed tv unit that is hard to move and I just don't fucking feel like doing it. I had already planned on replaying it with a friend anyway and I already had the platinum for the ps4 version so whatever. I like the game so much that starting fresh doesn't piss me off as much as it normally would. I'm actually more pissed about the fact that I can't upgrade my PS4 Spiderman to the PS5 Spiderman and I'm basically forced to have the Miles Morales Ultimate Edition if I want to play the good version of Spider-Man on it. Edit: Okay, I'm dumb as shit. It took me many hours to realize that I could launch Nioh 2 PS4 from the PS5 instead of the remaster, download my cloud save onto that version, upload it in the in-game menu, and then switch the game back to the remastered version. It's going to take me a little time to get used to the fact that I can launch multiple versions of a game from one disc now.

I've seen footage of that game but I feel like it's one of those things I'd have to play for myself to truly "get." Maybe if it goes on a good sale I'll pick it up.

Moss is short but I really liked it. For an early PSVR game I think it's one of the best ones in that first year or so. I heard they added some free DLC a while back so maybe I should replay that sometime. As for what I've bought recently... I scoffed at this game when it came out but they've really gone above and beyond (no pun intended) to make it worth playing since the disastrous launch. The VR mode is what finally pushed me to get it since I got a friend who also plays it in VR and exploring planets with him sounds like a fun time.

To be fair they are at least making FFXVI and we've seen footage of it so it's not quite as bad as it is for people who are, say, waiting for Elder Scrolls VI.

I'll play it when it comes to the Switch

Yeah I'm pretty sure the problem with my avocados was that they were refrigerated, which you're never supposed to do apparently. It wasn't even my idea to refrigerate them in the first place but oh well, there goes a whole box.

Fuck yeah, I finally did it! I finally got through! It was probably because it was a bundle that was more expensive. To be honest I don't need the Ultimate Spider-Man Edition and I'm probably just gonna sell that and maybe the extra controller on eBay to pay myself back a little, but it doesn't matter. I got you, you son of a bitch!

Starting March 1st, Ratchet and Clank on the PS4 will be free to download for a limited time. You do not have to be a PS+ member to claim it.

Fuck yeah, I can't wait. I hope they make it so you don't have to worry about staying in front of a camera the whole time by using internal tracking. That's the number one drawback of the PSVR for me since I play in a small room and don't actually have as much space as they recommend for the camera. I can still make it work, but I'd love to play VR games without having to finagle with calibrations all the time.

I think to burn the zombies you're supposed to use the kerosene on them and then the lighter separately? It's been a while since I played the remake. Edit: Apparently it's a little sensitive to where you try to use the kerosene container. You have to be standing near their midsection for it to work.

I'm a sucker for any art style that reminds me of Final Fantasy Tactics. If this game is even half as good as that one I'm sure I'll pick it up.

Ted Cruz flies to Cancun while Texas freezes. Wow. I really don't have any snarky comment here. Fuck you, Ted. You're a piece of human garbage.

Full price for Skyward Sword on its own is an insult, and I actually like that game. It should have been a collection like the Mario games. That might have actually been worth the money.