toxicitizen

I AM ONE WITH THE SNAKE! Doing all the levels without dying actually wasn't as bad as I feared. If you're not going for all the collectibles, the last world really isn't as much of a pain in the ass. Oh yeah, and I guess I hit a bit of a milestone four games ago.

Snake Pass I started this one when I got it through Humble Monthly but only got around to playing the last few levels this week. This has to be the most unique platformer I've ever played, if only because of the controls. You can't jump, you need to zig-zag like a snake to build any kind of momentum and you need to really think about how you climb up on stuff and how to anchor yourself so you don't fall off of moving or rotating platforms. I thought it was pretty damn great but it has two major issues. First, the camera. I'm half-convinced there's actually an AI behind it that's intentionally trying to obstruct your view every chance it gets. Seriously, the camera might as well be the main antagonist of the game. For the most part it works fine but every once in a while you have to go under a bridge or something and it's just a goddamn nightmare to see what the hell you're doing. Second, in the very last world they introduce this wind mechanic that pushes you off of stuff. It is the most infuriating fucking thing. The very last level of the game had a section where the wind combined with the camera almost gave me a fucking aneurysm. I'm talking Meat Circus level here. I only got past it through dumb luck because of what looked like the physics bugging out for a second and I didn't even give a fuck. Thankfully, it was just a short section near the start of the level, the rest of it was much more sane. But yeah, those two things aside it was a very enjoyable experience for the most part. I'd totally be down for a sequel. I only have two achievements left and I'm really tempted to go for 100% completion but one of them is to complete all the levels without dying. I'm not sure if my sanity can take another go through that last world. I already have all the collectibles, though, so just going for the main goals might be a little easier.

Final Fantasy XV Windows/Royal Edition I mostly enjoyed it but dear god is this game kind of a mess. And this is the improved version with almost a year and a half of post-launch support and content patches. Although, to be fair, spending ~10 years in development hell only to be turned into something completely different at the last minute would probably mess anything up. If anything, it's almost impressive that the final product is halfway decent. The game's biggest problem is the plot. or rather how it's told. It's pretty much always either being rushed through or happening off-screen. Especially in the second half, when the game suddenly decides you had enough fun in the open world and starts railroading you towards the end. The best way I've seen it described is that it feels like the devs were just following a rough plot outline without adding anything to flesh it out. It feels like a series of plot points without any of the connective tissue between them. And yet it somehow still made more sense than Final Fantasy XIII lol. This is one rare instance where going open-world didn't feel like a mistake, though. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really hope the next mainline FF is nothing like this. But the game is at its best when it's just about 4 dudes on a bro-ad trip. It took me a few hours to really get into the right mindset, but once I did it was kind of a relaxing experience. Grab a cup of tea or coffee, get some quests/hunts, hop in your car, turn on the radio and just take in the scenery while driving there. I'm actually kinda looking forward to firing up the game once in a while to finish all the optional stuff and just explore the world more. It's a shame that the quests are mostly boring fetch quests because they almost had something special there. So yeah, it was pretty much what I expected. Good but not great. But hey, it got me to start playing Theatrhythm again. So... there's that.

Lmao, goddamnit. As if this fucking meme wasn't bad enough already.

I've been on a bit of a b-movie kick lately. It started when I finally got around to watching The Room a few weeks ago (holy fuck, does it have to be seen to be believed) but the two I've watched this week might have actually surpassed it. I hesitated on whether to post here or in bad movies but I decided to go with entertainment value over actual quality. These are objectively bad but I wholeheartedly recommend watching them if you want to laugh hysterically. Samurai Cop This is your typical early 90s action movie but it's so incomprehensibly inept. Not only is most of the dialogue, editing and directing completely incoherent, the lead actor actually cut his hair short after he thought the movie had completed filming. So when the director called him in for reshoots months later, they had to put this ridiculous wig on his head. So in the very first scene of the movie, our main character walks into frame wearing this blatantly obvious wig, like it's a fucking thesis statement for the movie or something. He's wearing it for a solid 1/3 of the movie if not more. Sometimes it'll appear and disappear multiple times during a single scene because I guess they had forgotten to shoot the close-ups that day. And boy, those close-ups. The director didn't bother to tell the actors what they were reacting to, so it always feels disjointed and nonsensical. I honestly can't remember the last time a movie has made me laugh this hard. One particular sequence had both my friend and I in tears. It actually made us laugh way harder than The Room did. Fateful Findings If you watch RedLetterMedia's Best of the Worst show on Youtube, you're likely familiar with Neil Breen. If you don't, you should probably watch it because Best of the Worst is fucking amazing. Anyway, back to Neil Breen. Neil Breen is the epitome of borderline insane, delusional directors. Seriously, Tommy Wiseau has nothing on this guy. He writes, directs and stars in all his films and they're always about him being some sort of messianic figure or having some kind of secret power or knowledge and using it to fix the world. I don't even know how to begin describing the plot of Fateful Findings because I don't think it actually makes sense for anyone other than Neil Breen. All I can really do is let the movie speak for itself. Imagine an hour and a half of this and you're probably not too far off of what the movie is actually like. Except for the ending sequence. That part just goes above and beyond. It is pure fucking madness and had us screaming. It is now my life goal to watch everything this man has ever made or will ever make.

Yeah, it's a weird one to put on Steam. It's already available on their YouTube channel and they had others about stuff like Doom or whatever that would make more sense on a PC distribution platform. It kinda feels like they're picked this one specifically just to fuck with people lol.

Mine was pretty major ending stuff lol. Not relating to the overall world or plot but a specific character. I'm still pretty curious to see how it gets to that and how it actually goes down, though. Also, Ys: Memories of Celceta coming to PC this summer. They announced it much earlier than Ys Seven, so the build they're currently streaming on Twitch is fairly early in development and it's still a few months off. Same team that ported Ys Seven, so it sounds like it's in good hands. They've confirmed unlocked framerate, resolutions above 1080p and redone artwork. We still haven't heard any kind of confirmation about that April thing for Ys VIII (and I think we were supposed to get some details this week), so there's still a chance we get this first. I really hope we do, anything that makes NISA look even worse is hilarious at this point.

The only thing that bothers me with this is that Canada is included with the US in getting the theatrical release, for some fucking reason. I was really hoping I could watch it on Netflix this month lol.

Probably this one.

Yeah, but I'm already like 10 hours into FFXV so I'll stick with that for now. I think I'll keep my NG+ run for when the Cold Steel III loc announcement comes. Funny you should mention that, I've also been feeling kinda nostalgic about the Liberl arc ever since wrapping up CSII. Not sure why but I'm kinda getting the itch to replay them sooner rather than later. I might skip FC but I still need to do achievement cleanup runs on both SC and 3rd.

Welp, I just accidentally spoiled myself on something in Sen III from trying to look up something in the JP version of CS2. I only have myself to blame lol. Maybe I should go back to pretending this series doesn't exist for a while...

After that awful-looking FMA movie, now Japan brings us this. Seriously, were the live-action Kenshin movies a fluke? Those were pretty damn good but FMA looks like pure trash and I have no faith whatsoever in this being any better.

As for the others, Gematsu has some character profiles from a little while back. I mostly just skimmed them but it's interesting to note that one of them It is taking all my damn will power not to read every single article published pre-release.

Yeah, I watched that one a while ago. I don't know as much about Crossbell (except for a few major spoilers now that I've played CSII, I guess), so while it looks great there's not as much stuff in there that can get me truly hyped. That Sen 3 trailer, though... Absolutely! And yeah, that was my guess as well. As for her true identity I have to admit, that trailer is making my issues with the plot of Cold Steel II seem much less important. I can kinda see now that CSII was never meant to be a proper conclusion. It looks like a few specific people are still in Erebonia and things will be picking back up right where they left off, for the most part. The one thing I'm curious about is those new characters that seem to be the new main party members. Can't help but wonder where that leaves the other members of Class VII. (actual Sen 3 info but stuff that was in marketing and you likely already know)

OH GOD WHY DID I WATCH THIS SEN 3 TRAILER?? I need it, Mal! I need it in my bones!

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV Finally watched it last night. Maybe it's because my expectations were super low but I expected complete trash and ended up enjoying it a lot. It's no masterpiece and the start is a bit slow but it's a damn fun watch if you're in the mood for some silly over-the-top action. It even got me a little more excited for Final Fantasy XV. There's something about the combination of realistic architecture and Final Fantasy nonsense that makes this world (or I guess in this case the city of Insomnia specifically) super compelling to me. Hopefully there's a lot more of that in the actual game.

Ah ok, I thought maybe that was it. I definitely missed a quest then because the last time I saw him Looking forward to my Nightmare replay with a guide to get absolutely everything but right now the priority is FFXV, which I should be starting today. Hahaha, no worries. I'm just glad there's another Trails fanatic on here to lose my mind with. And yeah, I ran into that stuff while looking at a trophy guide. All the more reason to be looking forward to NG+. I vaguely remember also hearing about some (plot important) NG+ exclusive quest/event but that might actually be it.

People said this about CSI but I just played normally and found myself mildly challenged. I didn't try to break it and it seemed fine. In CSII, I read about the, uh... peculiar way the game rolls for AT Delays and decided to give everyone quartz(es?) for it. You have no fucking idea how many battles I just spent wailing on the enemies non-stop with them getting only a single turn in, if even that lol. And Rean might as well have cheats on with the way he generates CP. His starting master quartz + some gladiator gear = unleash his S-Craft and the kills almost fill him all the way back to 100 lol. Which one is that? I have no idea what you mean by that but I'm sure I missed a few.

The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel II I already posted some thoughts in the Falcom thread, so I'll keep this brief. The story wasn't quite what I was hoping it would be but overall it was a pretty solid sequel and even had a few plot twists that make me very excited for Cold Steel III. Now I just need XSEED to announce it soon. Like, real soon. Oh and Crossbell, too. Definitely need Crossbell. Any day now, they'll announce both...

edit: Game complete, epilogue and all. Man, that last dungeon was... not the best. Kinda felt like padding, really.

Oh, fuck my life... Yeah, I feel like the game left quite a few things unexplained. It was one of my main issues with the story, tbh. I can kinda see why people assumed ahead of time that there would be a Sen III, but if I had played II before knowing it officially I would've been equal parts confused and annoyed. This has not been as neat of a wrap-up as SC was. But hey, sounds like I still got more to go so it's too early to get into all this, I guess!

Yeah, that was a lot of bombshells to drop all at once. I spent the entire game being mildly disappointed by the story and thinking how much I wanted Crossbell way more than Cold Steel III but now I'm not so sure anymore... Also ffs, will this game ever end?! I was expecting to finish it earlier this evening but it just keeps on going and going an ugh... I imagine there's no more than an hour or so left but it's way too late to get into it. Gonna have to wait until tomorrow... So much for finishing it in time for FFXV tomorrow lol. I was supposed to watch Kingsglaive tonight, damnit!

Okay, haven't quite finished the game but I had to alt-tab out to post because I'm freaking the fuck out right now! (hugest fucking spoiler) I actually stood up from my chair. I don't think I've reacted this strongly to a plot twist/reveal since Lost. Hoooooly shit! edit 2:

Interesting! I'm not quite done with it yet but I'm at the very end of Act 2 (just about to leave for the final mission) and so far the story has been a bit of a disappointment for me. Now you're getting my hopes up for the final stretch.